I am in a strange mind-space in the last three hours. Its funny how a perfectly busy day, or what has been a really busy start to the week, involving around 5 hours in sleep in the last 36 hours, suddenly turned on its head. I have another two hours worth of work, then 3 hours of study after that. Its already 10:30pm.. Im not a stranger to relentless work but, today, I wish I didnt have to do this.

I wish I had been there for Derek in the last year he was with us. I wish I had had the courage to be where he needed me to be, by his side. I wish I had known that he would not finish the triathlon he signed up to do, the day after his last day here. I wish I had known that his complaints about memory loss when he visited Bangalore, were not myths, rather symptoms of his fatal illness. I wish I had not gotten angry with him for being afraid of exams because of this complaint of memory loss. I wish I had had the courage yet, to attend his funeral and console his mother. I wish I had had the courage to listen to her when she said that I would take this harder than anyone else. I wish I had reached out. I wish I were not so behind, now.

Life is a funny place today........ but as someone once said, Ill rest when Im dead.