Some of the dumbest questions I get asked when I travel include the ones like:

"Are there really cows on the roads in your country?"

" Did you learn English after you came abroad?"

"Why are you going back to India? Have you not met a nice man?"

"Did you really race your first Ironman in pyjamas?"

Now, Ive been reading a little bit. Actually, quite a bit. What Ive been reading has to do with semantics, with language, expression and clarity. In my last blog-post, I used the word "incredible" at least a dozen times. My writing prowess was never great but, it has been even more diminished in the recent times. Writing takes a lot of effort, to do well.

Questioning also takes a lot of effort, to do well.

So, lets start with the questions. The disclaimer here is that about 99.999999% of the world does not give a crap about triathlon or triathletes :) I am really enthused by this fact and it keeps me sane. Second, the 0.000001% that do ask me profound questions and I feel the need to answer them today.

"Did you really race your first Ironman in pyjamas?"

Let me begin by commenting on the nature of triathlon. This is mostly a top-heavy sport where equipment is valued more than the sport itself :) With running, the most equipment you can buy is a geeky GPS contraption, nice nike/reebok/ clothes and expensive shoes (mostly what we get in Indian markets are outdated models, at least 3 years older than whats available in the other markets, even as close as Singapore). With triathlon, one can go really crazy. In my opinion, this sport breeds a new form of consumerism, thats why its so attractive to pen down such key phrases as "Live the dream" and have people run after this. We all love shopping, dont we? Lets now go shop for a dream, because we are too un-original to have these on our own. "The dream" is mostly to help the millions of quacks make a living, their otherwise pathetic lives would not offer them. Some even go so far as to proposing that one can "excel" on 10 hours of training a week.

The entry fee to most of these races is more than the yearly salary of many poor families in India. No, Im not a tree hugger. No, I have not spent a year working on water-sanitation whitepapers in Nepal. Ive just spent about 25 years living in the country and find no conflict in stating that this sport is just not open to the bottom-tiers. We have confused Americans running to their Asian roots, when it suits their "living the dream" exercise but, other than that, lets not kid ourselves. There is no representation in this sport. Definitely not at the top-most level.

"Why are you going back to India? Have you not met a nice man?"

Ive lived all over the world and the alarming trend to be noted here is that people gravitate towards their roots. My buddies from North Carolina ultimately ended up somewhere close to there, to be nearer to family, and so on and so forth. In the name of progress, my race in particular is very very hard on itself. We move continents to seek out fresh air and I am fully guilty of this myself. We cannot bear the conflicts back home and its easier to be a freedom-fighter, when one is not on the ground :) Thats what I noticed in all the political/activist/ rallies that I attended well before I was 18. Professors from Cambridge, talking about Indian poverty. Intellectuals with permanent addresses in Boston, empathizing with the "state of the common man". I thought it was pretty convinient. Ask them the simple question "what have you done about it? what can we do about it?"........ no answer.

" Did you learn English after you came abroad?"

Of course! In all of 3 days I learned to spell "infundibuliform", backwards...

"Are there really cows on the roads in your country?"

What roads?

Oh, and speaking about "egalitarianism", a word I did not learn in those three days, let me just say that the discourse on caste and money, power and equality are very different things. I think the basic differentiator is how an individual or a group of individuals works out their opportunities and then their finances. This is why it is still possible for the tortoise to outwork the hare. It is possible but, still a lot of work! We tortoises have short feet :)

I am totally amused today! Just fabulously, rib-ticklingly amused.

Posted by It behoofs us at 3:27 PM