Miles to go, before I sleep

Business Line: eWorld

2010-07-12T00:40:00.000-07:00

What drives mobile app design?
Dr. Anu Vaidyanathan
The author is CEO of PatNMarks, an Intellectual Property Consulting firm with offices in Austin, Bangalore and Chennai (www.patnmarks.com) and can be reached at anu@patnmarks.com

...video and digital television are predicted to be the drivers of what has been termed 4G networks

Evenbasic handsets have a camera and are Internet-ready.

This two-part article describes several key technology trends that will influence the design of mobile phone applications in the coming years.

It is important to understand the proliferation of different kinds of cellular phone standards, handsets and hardware parameters that affect the compatibility of various applications across various demographics. Various applications specifically for the mobile phone market that are gaining ground include the traditional mass markets of mobile banking, gaming and location-based services.

In the year 2002, a set of papers detailing records of the original GSM task force were compiled. In this set, a study by Josef Huber methodically deconstructed the market model, traffic trends and the technology parameters classified by services, and offered predictions of the same between years 2005-2010. This study was carried out primarily to arrive at an appropriate methodology for spectrum allocation. These predictions are shown in the table accompanying story.

Both usage statistics and technology parameters, especially bandwidth (owing to the increased role of packet switched networks) have far exceeded initial expectations and predictions.

Furthermore, the success of such technologies as VoIP has, in effect, validated the push towards 4G networks, with a predominantly IP backbone. In addition to this, the least common denominator when it comes to features, even in low-cost handsets, is pretty exhaustive, thereby enabling various new applications.

Four generations of mobile telephony

The earliest version of mobile phones was the two-way radio, primarily used to communicate on set frequencies, not utilising the telephone network. Between 1910 and 1973, the technology saw several steps in its evolution. In 1973, Motorola demonstrated the DynaTAC prototype, which was probably the first commercial version of what is today smaller and lighter by several orders of magnitude. These were still analog devices and the introduction of the 2G standard, which was the term used for TDMA and CDMA systems, came about in the 1990s, to introduce digital, circuit switched transmission. The phones in this generation still weighed about 200 gm at their lightest and saw the introduction of several commercial services such as the short message service (SMS), downloadable ring tones and roaming.

3G networks saw the introduction of competing standards including WCDMA and CDMA2000. Although these standards had to stay cohesive with the IMT-2000 specification (standards of data-rates around 384 kbits/s outside and 2Mbit/s inside), they introduced a lot of heterogeneity. Intermediate standards such as 2.5G networks were also introduced to buffer the transition between 2G and 3G such that at the end of 2007, the subscriber base for GSM had reached nearly 300 million.

Although the proliferation of mobile phone technology has far exceeded expectations, the data-rates on circuit-switched digital networks have not scaled as well. While the main driver for 2G networks was voice, newer applications such as video and digital television are predicted to be the drivers of what has been termed 4G networks, as the limits of short-range communication evolve.

The proliferation of handsets

While network technology progressed in supporting higher data rates and more features, one of the greatest leaps in subscriber base occurred when the Asian continents started to engage with mobile phones. Given that the population density in this part of the world is unparalleled, two driving factors determined the success of both handsets and network technology, first movers and price.

Even though GSM was adopted early in India and China, the handset prices drove the subscriber base, in the initial years. There were many reviews that brought out the fact that even though 2.5G and 3G services were available to subscribers, the price of the handset forced them to choose 2G phones, thereby rendering a lot of the services redundant. Pricing services based on customer requirements has bridged this gap and instruments are more capable, even at the lowest prices, in the current market.

Features of the handsets include price, memory, image-resolution and ability to connect to the Internet. In profiling these parameters for 42 handsets from the leading brands, based on various price-points, it is observed that the most basic handset still has a camera and is Internet-ready. The price-points and concerns about majority of subscribers in the Asian countries using 2G instruments by reason of price are slowly being bridged. It would be interesting and relevant to perform a fine-grained analysis on how the predictions by the GSM committee and studies on spectrum provisioning translate to the Indian market.

In part two of this article, trends in the application space will be explained in detail, including traditional and emerging applications such as gaming, finance, location-based services (such as Foursquare) and E-911.

This data was obtained from Josef Huber’s paper on Spectrum Aspects in the UMTS Related Work of the European Commission, UMTS Task Force, UMTS Forum and GSM Association.

Money for Nothin'

2010-04-11T17:01:00.000-07:00

I was reading a few e-mails flying around in my athletic circles about how another friend decided to "cut back on sport" and "get on with life". This made me think about the other e-mails Id been reading from my non-athletic circles about how another stressed out engineer decided to "cut back on work" and "go live for a bit". I find these parallels very amusing, in my own quest to train like a world champion and feed my intellectual curiosity, that keeps me up, many nights, whether or not I am training.

As an employer, I find that the hardest thing to do is to be fair to my employees, CONSISTENTLY. Overall, my kids at work either stick with me for years or quit quickly. I prefer it that they quit quickly because there is no glamor in working for me, its 9-5, 6 days a week and no excuses. I dont allow people to work from home unless they have been with me for two years. I dont subscribe to "work whenever and however you want" models, unless they are studying part-time, in which case, the rules are different. Additionally, I am very conscious about paying people, ON TIME.
There were times in the last 2 years when I came very close to not being able to do this (pay people on time) but, by the grace of careful spending and unglamorous coffee machines, it didnt come to that.

A lot of people that come through our organization are surprised that we ask for no bond, pay for lunch and encourage healthy activities such as living close to work and walking to work, rather than taking a bus that is a major dent in your daily productivity to begin with.

What I notice however is that to consistently want the best for people, is difficult. Even by the most fair and amazing of bosses and employers. Ive been employed several times myself and its funny how different the equation is, when you are working, for a salary. It is only when I work for someone that I understand how irritating it is to work hard with some uncertainty of when I will get paid, or when the employers make stupid comments and brew up clouds of gray over what could well be a great turnout on a small and focused effort.

One of my favorite quotes is "Do as I say, not as I do", which really goes to show how far away preaching and practice can be, in the real world. Unfortunately, not all businesses can run as single-starrer Bollywood hits and definitely investing in some teams and co-ordination upfront, saves a lot of trouble later. One of the most important ingredients in a team is trust. If you have that, everything, including money is often secondary. However, in a totalitarian world such as ours, speaking plainly is not an accepted practice. So, very often I see my non-athletic, industrial types, wasting a lot of time with office politics, where the stapler went and who spent more on the Xerox-machine and Blackberry subscription than the next guy. Working for yourself takes away some of these headaches as its your Xerox machine and your blackberry to begin with :) However, I still believe in the wisdom of crowds, not just because my dissertation demands it.. but because I truly hope to have the humility to see that one person, alone, can only go so far.

In the meanwhile, I hope that as an employer and as an employee, my least common denominator will be to never expect money for nothing...... Cool Hand Luke mightve well said that "nothing can be be a real cool hand" but, Ill save that for the 30k mark in the Ironman rather than office politics.

Visor than Vaidyanathan

2010-03-22T16:49:00.000-07:00

The trouble with giving a girl like me free stuff is that I generally get emotionally attached to it and approach its usage like an engineering problem. After four years of wearing hand-me-downs and thrift-store specials from Seattle and mom's old sweaters from the 1940s, I was overwhelmed when I got some awesome gear from my awesome new team TIMEX :) I got three varieties of hats, lots of lycra (yeay) and most importantly awesome watches that I can tap and that make great conversation pieces with the cute trainer in the gym that I am secretly hoping will ask me out someday! There IS a God and his name is Denzel Washington...

Back to the story in hand, I got so attached to my new tap-watch that I have been running like a maniac... tap at the start, tap half-way up our version of heart-break hill, tap when cute kiwi looks over at me, tap again when shoe laces come off, tap once more just to tap and so on..

Speaking of the hats, I decided to stress-test 'em all to see how I looked and give you a gear review on the aerodynamics of hats............ Perhaps I shouldve titled this article "of hats and hicks" :) Anyhoo, back to the point at hand.... The pink bling hat is very cute but makes me look scary so, while I love cute, I say no to the pink bling. The booster juice hat was shaped differently but a bit too purple so, while I am marrying a surfer who lives in a purple house (and is preferably Canadian), I say no to the purple as well... Which brings us to the mother of all non-hats, the VISOR....... This is a headless hat, which makes it instantly appealing as pursuing my doctorate left most of my brain in ethereal ruins anyway, I think most of what was left evaporated and this is the no-pretense hat......... so, I tested this in three positions, the usual route, makes me happy... the side Eminem-look-east-tries-to-ape-the-west look... makes me even MORE happy... the 180 degree turn all the way back makes me the happiest :) Who cares if its aerodynamic or not! Given that I have a new fashion mentor (Daniel Brienza) who has been training his tail off for upcoming races, I have to look good, AT ANY COST.

Back to the lycra, I decided to "suit up" for a 2 hour ride recently, and look like a "REAL ATHLETE" and all.. I didnt know how to wear the leg-warmers so, I sent a panic-mail to Daniel asking about the laws of gravity as applicable to these non-tights in white. He said, I should definitely wear them OVER my bike shorts and make sure I had them on first and then the shorts, so that I didnt spend too much time.. er.. suiting up. And so I did... it took a bit longer than I thought it would but Daniel knows best.............. In this moment of extreme fashion makeover-age, I forgot to eat breakfast and sure enough bonked 40 minutes into my ride and stopped for some coffee and goodies. I asked for the apple strudel with yoghurt and the chocolate brownie with cream and a latte... but on second thought, given that I had to fit into the lycra at least a few more times, I cancelled the brownie and asked for the strudel instead but with the cream, instead of the yoghurt... and oh, switched to plain coffee with *gasp* low-fat milk. This snack improved the quality of my ride by a little more than the matching clothes and I was convinced of my own awesomeness again! Mom's jacket and the thrift-store red-coat and my button-less blue wolly cap added a bit more color to the riding ensemble.. Be BRILLIANT, I say!

So, Im off to buy some MORE matching gear and have no fear, I will give you the review......... The runs are all coming back to me now........... 8 weeks in paradise swimming with big-a$$ paddles, and then Im off on the long brown road to yonder.

Airwave

2010-03-20T02:34:00.000-07:00

Its closer to midnight than I thought it would be.. Ive been listening to Boh Runga for a while, after having ridden my bike today. After a long time, my bike and I are talking to each other again. I missed my bike and I was told the feeling was mutual. As I ponder my next steps, Ive been taking time to rest my tired feet and rejuvenate my mind. I found that music, cooking and training early are the three things that really heighten my senses to the possibilities in a day. Additionally, a job well done also makes me happy, no end. I also like reading but good books are hard to come by. My latest read is "A Thousand Splendid Suns" and it looks very promising so far.

I struggle to reconcile between my life as a quasi-hermit-ess and the need to be around the people I count as my friends. The ones who will listen to me at the end of a long day, commiserate on the state of the world, lift me up when I am down and let me help when they need a hand. Officially speaking, I prefer the quiet places. I need the bustle of my work and the mad schedules every now and then but, 8 months of the year, I am happy working hard, cooking, reading, listening to music, writing and training.

One of my favourite poets is Billy Collins, American poet laureate, that my partner David introduced to me. Of late, the soulful tunes of the Runga sisters (Bic and Boh) and their lyrics more importantly have been very comforting. I know that peace is a fleeting emotion and one wishes to hang on to that feeling for as long as they can but, what if the road not taken involves discovery? I always wondered about people that feel like they are discovering new places, new things or breaking new ground. For example an Amelia Earhart, Ada Lovelace or even our long-distance women runners. Did they miss home? Did they find new horizons measure up to the choice of new environments and playgrounds to discover?

I wonder!

For now, Ill leave you with how I feel, in Boh Runga's words :)

"Follow a trail of thought ‘til
It leads you to your station
And everyone there is on time
No worry or fear will find
Leave your worries and fears behind you"

Im going to uncrowd my life. There is a glimmer of hope!

Scotch Taped Barracks

2010-03-06T00:53:00.000-08:00

Polite Conversation often escapes me!

Bhaiyya, yeh egalitarian kya hota hain?

2010-01-05T15:27:00.000-08:00

Some of the dumbest questions I get asked when I travel include the ones like:

"Are there really cows on the roads in your country?"

" Did you learn English after you came abroad?"

"Why are you going back to India? Have you not met a nice man?"

"Did you really race your first Ironman in pyjamas?"

Now, Ive been reading a little bit. Actually, quite a bit. What Ive been reading has to do with semantics, with language, expression and clarity. In my last blog-post, I used the word "incredible" at least a dozen times. My writing prowess was never great but, it has been even more diminished in the recent times. Writing takes a lot of effort, to do well.

Questioning also takes a lot of effort, to do well.

So, lets start with the questions. The disclaimer here is that about 99.999999% of the world does not give a crap about triathlon or triathletes :) I am really enthused by this fact and it keeps me sane. Second, the 0.000001% that do ask me profound questions and I feel the need to answer them today.

"Did you really race your first Ironman in pyjamas?"

Let me begin by commenting on the nature of triathlon. This is mostly a top-heavy sport where equipment is valued more than the sport itself :) With running, the most equipment you can buy is a geeky GPS contraption, nice nike/reebok/ clothes and expensive shoes (mostly what we get in Indian markets are outdated models, at least 3 years older than whats available in the other markets, even as close as Singapore). With triathlon, one can go really crazy. In my opinion, this sport breeds a new form of consumerism, thats why its so attractive to pen down such key phrases as "Live the dream" and have people run after this. We all love shopping, dont we? Lets now go shop for a dream, because we are too un-original to have these on our own. "The dream" is mostly to help the millions of quacks make a living, their otherwise pathetic lives would not offer them. Some even go so far as to proposing that one can "excel" on 10 hours of training a week.

The entry fee to most of these races is more than the yearly salary of many poor families in India. No, Im not a tree hugger. No, I have not spent a year working on water-sanitation whitepapers in Nepal. Ive just spent about 25 years living in the country and find no conflict in stating that this sport is just not open to the bottom-tiers. We have confused Americans running to their Asian roots, when it suits their "living the dream" exercise but, other than that, lets not kid ourselves. There is no representation in this sport. Definitely not at the top-most level.

"Why are you going back to India? Have you not met a nice man?"

Ive lived all over the world and the alarming trend to be noted here is that people gravitate towards their roots. My buddies from North Carolina ultimately ended up somewhere close to there, to be nearer to family, and so on and so forth. In the name of progress, my race in particular is very very hard on itself. We move continents to seek out fresh air and I am fully guilty of this myself. We cannot bear the conflicts back home and its easier to be a freedom-fighter, when one is not on the ground :) Thats what I noticed in all the political/activist/ rallies that I attended well before I was 18. Professors from Cambridge, talking about Indian poverty. Intellectuals with permanent addresses in Boston, empathizing with the "state of the common man". I thought it was pretty convinient. Ask them the simple question "what have you done about it? what can we do about it?"........ no answer.

" Did you learn English after you came abroad?"

Of course! In all of 3 days I learned to spell "infundibuliform", backwards...

"Are there really cows on the roads in your country?"

What roads?

Oh, and speaking about "egalitarianism", a word I did not learn in those three days, let me just say that the discourse on caste and money, power and equality are very different things. I think the basic differentiator is how an individual or a group of individuals works out their opportunities and then their finances. This is why it is still possible for the tortoise to outwork the hare. It is possible but, still a lot of work! We tortoises have short feet :)

I am totally amused today! Just fabulously, rib-ticklingly amused.

Report Card

2009-12-25T12:44:00.000-08:00

Actually, the times I sit down to think about the year that has passed, I get really tired!!!! I believe the first day of the year tells us a lot about the rest of the year. I was telling someone today that on the first day of 2009, I was down with the flu, stuck in a horribly rainy week. I had so much medicine in me, I could barely stay awake. At around 11pm, I woke up and did sit-ups for 10 minutes, in my room. I could barely get out bed to the floor and back in bed and back to sleep. I slept like a rhino, Jan 1st - Jan 2nd :) On Jan 2nd, I told myself, its still Jan 1st in Hawaii, I am going to go for jog. Running those 20 minutes was the HARDEST THING ive done in my life!! I was so sick, it was not funny.

This year has been a very mixed bag. Ive learned a lot. Executed about 60% of what I set out to execute with sport but 150% with other aspects of my life. This is good because hopefully 2010 will see a slightly smaller work-load. Remember the two jobs I have, its now down to just one job and sport. Good news. So, here is my report card for 2009:

Sport

I trained in the heat and at altitude this year. I think altitude is not all that its made out to be.. people just need excuses to be lazy and "Im at altitude" is a great one. I met some crazy roommates, who were no good for me. I have resolved to only ever living with serious athletes in the future. Everyone else that is a lifestyle athlete cannot appreciate the long hours and why I feel compelled to run at midnight after a long day at work (the aleternative kids, is to not run and miss the workout). I lived with a serious athlete who had her act together in most cases and made me appreciate the value of time. I met some incredibly lazy people in the latter half of my summer. I cannot understand the sense of entitlement in sport. Sport is like art, a very esoteric pursuit. Many smart men argue that there is no artist beneath the suit... that that is not possible. I think they just dont understand that sport can be as demanding as any other job, in fact a lot more so. However, it is still very esoteric. One does have to keep their feet firmly planted on the ground. Other athletes Ive met this year have only made me resolve to imitate the all-round successes. I met the incredible Canadians who housed me, took care of me and were just incredible hosts. Id like to be like one of them, Tracy! Just an incredible athlete and a very successful physiotherapist who pays her bills, on time. Yes, she has a few sponsors to help her along but, no illusions about what a lifestyle really is :)

My lifestyle is paying my bills on time, supporting my incredible team at work and wanting the best for them and being able to use all of my talents.

Work

Work has been incredibly satisfying and incredibly frustrating, all in one. However, Im an optimist and given a choice, Id say, work has been incredible! :) I met some great people, I met some not-so-great people but, people are people. I have some amazing projects lined up for 2010 and I cannot WAIT to see them bear fruit 18 months or so down the line. I have also learned to be proud of what we have achieved. If you ever visit my office, its a humble little place in the middle of the bustle and annoyance of the man next door who does bhajan practise every morning, the chowkidaar who is never late, the phone that is constantly ringing and my kids that are running around trying to practise my latest punishment exercise from Wren and Martin :) Added to this, David is an incredibly smart man and Ive learned to start listening to him, more carefully. We contrast each other perfectly at work. He thinks before he talks, I talk before I think. He usually is right about people, I am usually wrong about people. He takes on a pragmatic approach, I take on an artistic approach. But, it all works out because we both have only one true love, our bikes :) Here is to many more years of good work!!

Life

Boy, last year was rough because I lost my best friend to cancer. This year, there was a very dear brother-in-law who passed away and watching my niece and sister go through that with such strength, really took my breath away. My niece is a piece of my heart, and I wish I have half the brain, strength and grace this kid has, someday. Getting through another best-friend's health problems this year was also quite challenging. I have a tiny group of confidantes, so, I am always happy to be of help in any way, even if it just means shutting up and listening.

I also tried to catch up on 4 years of world news in two weekend, BAD IDEA! I came across the same people I had run into as a teenager and then as a young adult. There IS a lot of disparity in the world. There is absolutely no sitting on the fence about this simple fact. While population control and external affairs are not things you and me can directly affect, participation is the key to democracy. So, obviously there is that simple vote. However, what I did realize was why the activists put me off in the first place (as much as the state). We have two sides to the problem and two sets of people arguing in their loudest voices for or against this. There is a lot of criticism meted out to the middle-class... I have something intelligent to say about that.

I am a proud citizen of middle-class India. I dont shun my opportunities, I work very hard for them. I appreciate the modesty with which a lot of my life has been lead and will continue to be lead. I appreciate that no one had it easy where I come from.. and I didnt jump into that privilege and abuse it. I picked bigger challenges BECAUSE I was privileged. There is nothing wrong with this model of life. If your parents walked upto the edge of the village, you are able to walk upto the edge of new york city. Hey, no harm there. However, for activists and the state to consider us dormant door-mats is kinda silly! I have a lot of friends who DO care about the state of the state :) Theirs is a valid vote too. Why do I have a bee buzzing in my head, you ask? Well, it was that catching up on world news over two weekends :) Take this scenario -- I lived with the poorest of farmers for a few years. Of course, in the USA, this still means you have central heating and flush-down toilets and amazing games of scrabble and talk about real world issues. We are what we eat, of this I have no doubt.

Two of my friends from this time went on to start their own farm (http://www.stoneyacresfarm.net/). These kids are my age, mind you. And no, the situation for farmers in the USA is the same as here, but, these are educated people, MAKING THE CHOICE, to grow their own food and then food for others. Now, all of us dont have that easy transition to make but, here is a great data-point for a "middle-class" citizen, choosing the hard path. Farming is very difficult, dont doubt that for a second. My best friend I lost last year went to Swaziland to volunteer for the Peace Corps and has been to about every major fund-raising ride in the greater United States for AIDS. So, Im inundating you with nice examples of mid-western USA, what about Bangalore?? Sure, I have colleagues who have given up their desk jobs to start their own companies. OWNERSHIP is very important and silent form of rebellion too, right? I have friends who all moved home (from that fancy phoren place, USA) to make their lives here... how about that? Two of these clowns were from the best Aeronautical Engineering labs in Purdue (yes, Neil Armstrong went to school here, WE ROCK in this department). Last I checked, they were pretty darned middle-class too... and still live in modest houses and raise their kids with as much discipline as the next guy.

So, I say, yes, there is a lot of disparity in the world. The solution is not to scream harder about it but to make choices. A bigger challenge over a fatter paycheck. A better life where you get to visit dad every other month over being 48 hours flying time, away. Really investing in your team, getting them up to speed, making sure they know that they have opportunities and that they take those opportunities...

As the wiley and more articulate Maya Angelou would say "Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told, 'I'm with you kid. Let's go.'"

LETS GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Delhi 6

2009-12-20T00:59:00.000-08:00

I grew up believing that love conquers all! :) Be it the Physics homework or the awesome boy in the neighborhood who wanted to be a doctor! So, it was a hard pill to swallow when I read about the likes of Romeo D'allaire, Raphael Lemkin and Bill Proxmire. More intelligent updates soon!

So, what am I supposed to do about it?

2009-12-10T16:58:00.000-08:00

Ive been re-visiting some of my old stomping grounds. Ive never believed in Social "service" but, I have believed in "participation". I am so caught up living my life that I had no time to ponder deeply about the thousand things that are wrong with the world... I dont like the propoganda theorists and the activists that try to take on the burden of the world on their cosmopolitan shoulders. Yes, we are a classist society. Instead of feeling bad about it, maybe we could consider getting our lives right first... thats what I told myself 4 years ago and Ive had mixed success... Everyone lives with their own contradictions... and that is fine :) Today, Im suddenly optimistic about my place in the big picture.

Here are some (outdated) thoughts on a yuppie (me) trying to understand the big-picture... http://parantu.blogspot.com/

Watch this space.

On second thoughts -- Million Dollar Baby Part 2

2009-12-06T03:16:00.000-08:00

I always wonder what would have happened if Maggie Fitzgerald had met the love of her life?!!! The unforgiving road of scraping dishes mightve taken a slight detour..... food for thought on this MONDAY morning :)

Outliers

2009-12-06T02:46:00.000-08:00

My friend G and I went on a run today. Now, G is a philosopher and a prophet in my life. I depend on his wisely wisdomacious wileyness to substitute for my own unwisely, unsubstantiated under-IQ........... He keeps telling me I am an outlier and he used this term to describe someone else today. Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I loathe "reading" for the sake of sounding "intellectual". Till age 40, I want to create my own story, then "read" what the intellectuals have to say! So, I read as few books as I have to, just to keep my adventures original.... Even with this reduced reading, I average more than a dozen books a year so, Im a nerd, 100% Some of my favourite authors include Kerouac, Steinbeck, Krakauer, Frankl and Anita Desai. Whats-her-name arundathi and arvind adiga are also awesome but a bit too dark for my sunshine-lovin' soul......

Back to G and I, he told me about this book by Malcolm Gladwell (actually, the bloke has written several books... not that I have read any of them, remember, I dont do coffee-shop conversations on pop culture, books and shit, I make my own road... at least, thats what I tell my snobbish self)... but, G was persistant...

So, run to the bookstore I did and bought this book "Outliers"...

Holy Shit! I did not put it down the whole time... I was reading this other book a few summers ago called "Pudd'nhead Wilson" which is one of the lesser known books by Mark Twain... Its a really interesting book.. out of the commercial successes of Huck Finn or Tom Sawyer labels and addresses a lot of issues around those that were considered the "colored's" or the illegitimate children of slaves.

In the prologue for the book "A Jamaican Story" the author talks about his own heritage........... I was a little disappointed because I take the skeptics view that most authors come from a background of self-promotion but, I read it anyway and looked him up... This chap is very intelligent and not a disappointment AT ALL!!!!

In fact, his recent strife with one of the contributing "intellects" of the Pioneer fund totally sealed my opinion that this book is an all time BEST SELLER! Back in 2000, when I was still younger and still foolish-er, I took a graduate class in Psychology (yes, I had to be the best and show off with my varied classes). I remember writing a paper on a crazy subject called "the bell curve"....... I will tell you about this after a few months............ but believe you me, Malcolm Gladwell ROCKS! This book is an all-time-hit on my list. I dont plan on parting with it any time soon..........

Prep in Shepp

2009-11-18T17:21:00.000-08:00

Quick recap of the race at Shepparton... the goal was to dial down the nutrition and go hard on the bike. I had been running it up the week before and decided to crank up the fun with a little weekend race. I stayed well hydrated the night before as the daytime temps were expected to cross 38 degrees. There was not too much humidity so, that really helped. The highlights were a horribly slow swim, thanks to being clobbered by lots of AG men, not caring :) Getting out on that bike and nailing it and getting to the run and being in a very happy place for 14-odd kms. The goal was to plod and see where my plodding speed would lead me. I had been evaluating some horrible race-flats the week before, not good for my feet at all.. but that is the point of evaluation, to find out. I surprised myself given that it was just 2.5 weeks into the start of my season. The key is rest and nutrition, if only things were that simple :)

Looking forward to keeping up the good attitude, this life is about the journey!

Miles to go

2009-11-03T16:02:00.000-08:00

Im trying to perfect the art of resting on past laurels but, thankfully, I have not yet managed it. I took 5-6 weeks off after my Ultraman Canada and Ironman Canada double. I was sure that I needed the time to be pampered by the normal things one could enjoy, mom's cooking, heaps of work, re-branding our company's offerings, etc. I kept moving though, just to keep the legs ticking over but the 3 hour rides were a thing of the past after the first month back in Bangalore. I needed the break and I took it happily.

Jumping off the deep end seems to be my mainstay for now, whether it be with work, sport or play and so, that is exactly what I did last week by taking part in the Five Passes tour that climbed most of the Southern Alps in New Zealand. I knew I was going to suffer because of the drastic weather change (going from 30+ degrees in South India to 7- degrees was no joke) and the lack of miles in my legs. This was a serious road tour by all means. The highlights were nailing the prologue, hanging with a much faster group for more than a few hours on the first day, suffering a major setback on the second day that required two hours of painkillers and some major sobbing, riding again with a much faster group on the third day and riding away from them towards the middle, getting past all the passes and winning the KOM jersey for my division. It made me laugh but it also made me proud, show me another that jumps in after 5-6 weeks off, I say! I will take my victories and be proud of them from now on. This is a major goal for the coming year.

Modesty is not overrated and I love humble people but, the flip side is also to give one's self enough credit for doing the work. I couldnt walk for two days and my bruises are slowly healing but, here is to a great start for the rest of the year and a new season.

Lights, Camera, Action

2009-10-17T21:29:00.000-07:00

I love Diwali......... It makes me so happy, for some odd reason. There is so much to look at in the markets. Fresh flowers, pretty bangles, pretty ladies all dressed up, men in their best clothes, lots of plantain leaves, the smell of crackers, the food coma when trying every new sweet in the market, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...........

I think Ive morphed into my scardey cat double in the last month and a half... I dont want to leave home to start my season. Maybe August took its toll on my mind... maybe I just miss my family a LOT... maybe I just figured out that my life is really here. All the travel in the world cannot replace what I have here.

Anyway, here are a few thoughts on persistance. The beginning is easy, on any new road. Its full of adventure, everything is new and unseen. Convincing one's self is also easy... Come junior year, Im a bit nervous. Im more ambitious this year, than ever before. Lets see how things pan out........... Wish me luck!

Up close and personal

2009-10-14T12:21:00.000-07:00

Im inflicting a few sleepless nights on myself in the last three weeks. Truth be told, my level of personal stress is always very high in the off-season. Even more truth be told, athletes dont really have an off-season. Its good to keep moving, all the time. I have two other lives to answer to though and investments in those lives.. so, I often find myself with more things on my plate than I can handle. But, I always get through and in a few months, one of those lives is done with, and I cannot wait for that day. Im confused about the altnerative (to not doing as much) though. The alternative is having no choice in how one wants to spend their time.

It really sucks to swim in unheated pools in Bangalore. It sucks even more to work till midnight, on some nights and have to wake up at 5am.. The days seem longer and longer, suddenly.

Ive been reading late into the night, to cheer me up (and watching funny videos, something I am still learning the merits of... one DOES need down-time, brain-dead TV time, etc.). My all time favourites have been re-read or dug out to sit on my shelf for night-time reading. The new ones include "Between the Assasinations" and one other Indian work.. The old ones include "White Tiger", "An inheritance of loss", "Into the Wild", "Into Thin Air", "Man's search for meaning" and definitely "The will to meaning".

Life is entirely up close and personal, when you are going the extra mile. No doubt about it.

Mogul

2009-10-13T21:55:00.000-07:00

Duvall Mahalakshmi Homer was having a bad-hair day. The coconut oil had burst open in his travel case and left behind an undeniable smell, that would take a second bath and his more powerful cologne, to drown out. After all, he could not show up to class, smelling like the Keralite everyone suspected him to be, but were too cosmopolitan to confirm. The class was multi-lingual and had employees from the top-10 firms, the ones that showed up at least, attending for a week. The audience had come there by plane, train, car and bus, making Duvall feel like a shrine on some days. He was the best at his job, of that there was little doubt in his mind. He was teaching English to the unassuming (and often times, incompetent) audience wanting to fast-track their careers within organizations that were country's pride and joy, the Information Industry. His classes started on time, by him setting an example and being there by 9am. The slow trickle of shrine-watchers, took sometimes until 10:30am to materialize, but this did not faze him. He was a perfectionist and very old-school about keeping time. This had been instilled in him as a child, when his mother schooled him on collecting clothes from the clothes-line, helping her with washing dishes and bringing in water from the community well, all before he went to school at 8am. All tasks were not a woman's responsibility, she would often say. In fact, after his father died when Duvall was 3, his mother changed his legal name to include her first name as his middle name, and changed his last name from Siddhagangaiah Joseph to Homer. She had a post-graduate degree in English Literature and fondly thought of the Iliad as the story of her life. Inchampalli, where she lived with Duvall, was the namesake for Ithaca, after she had had a few shots from her ex-husband's liquor closet and everything just made perfect sense.

Traffic was moving slower than usual that morning but, Duvall was pre-occupied with the latest Etymological dictionary, he had had his American "counter-part" mail him from Waxahachie. He had met his counter-part when qualifying himself on the English-as-a-Second-Language circuit and the two had taken an immediate liking to each other. Duvall's name and obsessively clean finger-nails had impressed Mike Nathaniel Jones so much, that they had decided to remain in contact, long after their class together, also a week long, in the cold Chicago winter of 1998. Mike had married his pet student, Utumporn Meejaroen, quit his job as an ESL teacher and moved back to his family farm in Texas. The temperatures suited Utumporn better than windy Chicago anyway. Duvall was already on “Tennis”, having spent a week poring over the book. The car came to a sudden jarring halt, which made him look up briefly. Two billboards placed next to each other caught his eye. One advertising for the latest in two-wheeler brands, with the country’s leading Tennis star and the other advertising new e-mail services, with a kid that looked hardly 18, in a pair of jeans, spiked hair and a big grin. He looked down at his own beer belly and ruminated on the time when he weighed 80kgs, played cricket every evening and was the apple of his then girl-friend’s eye. She had gone on to marry his best friend, because her parents were not sure of Duvalls religious inclinations and he had gotten married through the classified’s, to a wonderful woman whom he always acknowledged as the corner-stone of his success. They had a 4-year-old daughter, whom he loved spending time with, in the time that was allotted to her. He was a fiercely ambitious man, who had seen the world with his job, and had a plan in his mind about how he would conquer his career path, methodically and with no fear of failure. He had worked 15 years before he took up ESL and had several people that would take him back as an employee, if his current plans did not succeed. He had nothing to lose. He never forgot a name and always returned phone calls. That had won him several well wishers and an exit strategy, whilst he conquered the world, one syllable at a time.

As he looked out the window, he realized that they were hardly a kilometer away from the training center but, that would take them 15 minutes to cover, given a big bus that had broken-down, sideways, right ahead of them. It was too cramped for him to get out of the car so, he heaved another big sigh and let his thoughts wander over the melee of traffic and citizenry on the roads. The usual suspects were in action, the beggars (who seemed to multiply and use the British ideas of divide and conquer across traffic lights placed exactly 250 meters apart on this road), the cyclists on fixed-gear bikes that weighed more than the rider themselves, the air-conditioned Toyota Corollas with a well-dressed entourage, usually reading a book or watching TV on the small-screen behind the seat, the paper-sellers and hawkers, the maverick cow trying to decide whether or not to grab attention by taking a leisurely stroll across the traffic-filled street and the zillion pedestrians, some with employee tags, others without, walking to and fro as quickly as they could, as if the freedom of the world rested on their young shoulders from the word Go! Duvall wondered if they listened to Suprabhatam anymore, these days. Even that classic had hip-hop overtones when it played on the radio. His own childhood and youth had been spent in what was a rich river basin where the land in his little town stretched across the borders of three adjoining states. As he grew older, it seemed natural to him that he should be a citizen of the world, because transcending borders was what he had been raised doing. The latest hydroelectric project in his town seemed to him a far-away issue from the more pressing needs of idiomatic semantics.

When the car finally pulled up at the center, Duvall got out with aplomb, his shirt creases more reminiscent of a whole day on a factory floor, rather than the 40 minutes in the car he had hired, with a driver. The anti-crease technology advertised for by Mark Folly clothes for men, was not working He was greeted yet again by an empty classroom, the glare of the ten overhead tube-lights and the air-conditioning on in full-blast. He sat down, setting the Etymological dictionary aside and turned on the computer, made available to the instructors, on the podium where they delivered classes in written, spoken and pronounced English. Duvall kept himself updated on American, British and Australian slang by watching every movie he could get his hands on, and every television show he meticulously recorded from the Australian channels on SKY TV at home. Last night’s viewing of Chicago, the musical, had taught him about a new religion. He had a different opinion of America now, thanks to Ezekiel Young and was not sure he ever wanted to visit Salt Lake City.

Duvall’s thoughts were interrupted by his cell phone ringing discreetly, at a volume that was almost sub-altern, one that only he could really hear. His daughter Dena was on the phone and had a question as she worked on her morning classes for the Spelling Bee competition, 10 months away. Dena asked him how “M-O-T-I-O-N” was pronounced, was it “mo-tee-on” or “mo-tyon”?? Duvall patiently replied “moshun”, “MO-SHUN”.. Dena was not convinced. How could it be “mo-shun”? There was a “T” in there.. her 4-year-old parser was not accepting the situation too well. He tried an analogy with “T-E-N-S-I-O-N” being pronounced “ten-shun”… “But daddy, that has no “T” … it is not T-E-N-T-I-O-N… are you sure its Mo-Shun?”. Given the persistence of his youngest trainee, Duvall knew it would take at least a week for him to convince this one.

.

Finding Feynman

2009-10-10T06:38:00.000-07:00

Feynman was my favourite lantern through school/college. Lantern because frankly, Im not a super-intelligent person. I know what I know, thats about it. I come from a family of academics so, the book and the pen were always my favourite companions. Going through college, I didnt get a lot of it. For example, I didnt understand the incessant obsession with excessive homework. I probably attended five classes, end-to-end, in three years at Purdue. These were discrete math, signals and systems, probability theory, basic and advanced microprocessors and poetry classes :) The rest of the time was spent stalking the best minds in research. The instruction set architecture was poetry to my geeky soul. There was so much to be read and implemented! Summer school were spent in the mac-daddy of all architecture research, working on the latest technology.. the kind one saw in product releases or the next chip from Intel (or if the idea was REALLY good, Digital Corp. :)) 156+ credits in 36 months, with two jobs to afford my first red steel bike (and food) later, I got my degree and I still remember the graduation ceremony. I was mighty pleased to have blown the competition out of the water (they took four, in some case 4.5 years to complete what I did in 3 years) and bored to death.. my mom was shedding a few tears of joy (i hope! it mightve well been horror at what kind of idiots were getting degrees these days :)

I had already planned where I wanted to go for my Masters and had spent the last summer (therefore, effectively graduating in 2.75 years, minus summer semester) on site in North Carolina. We had a billion transistors to play with at the time, what more could a girl ask for?? God Bless Moore.

I was never BORED during my Masters degree because all classes had a very big project component (I like doing rather than talking) and I was busy! The thesis I wrote, in retrospect, was simply re-arranging transistors to be more specific to program constructs that violated security in the kernel but, it got me out in 12 months. We didnt sleep much then... and I probably had most of my personality development in Raleigh. I met the cool kids there.. the ones that introduced me to real culture in America.. adventure in the high Alaskan wilderness, hard work, idealism and independence. Purdue had too many trust-fund-babies for my liking.

Then came the PhD route............ didnt last too long on that one... took a job instead and did better there. But, once your own boss, its hard to be a salaried employee so, I didnt last too long there either and finally, Im home... doing what I love, writing!!! Patents are all about writing! I consider myself a fiction writer sometimes and look forward to writing a decent Indian novel someday soon.

In the meanwhile, my own ambition has caught up with me.. balancing sport and work and one other pursuit (called competitive advantage) has been less than successful in some ways and more so on some days...... but, today, Im thinking about Feynman again.. he said that there was plenty of room at the bottom. He also said "What I cannot create, I cannot understand"... I think besides Kerouac, Billy Collins and Jack London, I am also madly in love with Feynman. Always have been, always will be.

Ive met one inspiring person at work that makes me think that something will come out of a decent effort. My favourite advisor always preached the importance of taking pride in a job well done.... Being a small company, we always face the constraint of time and resources but, shoot for the sky as they say and one might get to the top of the stairs :)

Buzz Lightyear was always my favourite boy........... here is to infinity and beyond!

In the eyes of an owl

2009-10-06T10:13:00.001-07:00

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond's glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle Autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there. I did not die.

I am in a strange mind-space in the last three hours. Its funny how a perfectly busy day, or what has been a really busy start to the week, involving around 5 hours in sleep in the last 36 hours, suddenly turned on its head. I have another two hours worth of work, then 3 hours of study after that. Its already 10:30pm.. Im not a stranger to relentless work but, today, I wish I didnt have to do this.

I wish I had been there for Derek in the last year he was with us. I wish I had had the courage to be where he needed me to be, by his side. I wish I had known that he would not finish the triathlon he signed up to do, the day after his last day here. I wish I had known that his complaints about memory loss when he visited Bangalore, were not myths, rather symptoms of his fatal illness. I wish I had not gotten angry with him for being afraid of exams because of this complaint of memory loss. I wish I had had the courage yet, to attend his funeral and console his mother. I wish I had had the courage to listen to her when she said that I would take this harder than anyone else. I wish I had reached out. I wish I were not so behind, now.

Life is a funny place today........ but as someone once said, Ill rest when Im dead.

Stranger than Fiction

2009-09-30T11:28:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I do think, real life, is stranger than fiction... We've got mechanical lives, with no break, no time for the stereotypes we once stood for (freedom, Maya Angelou-esque "Im with you kid, lets go!"), no time to think about whats really important... the air that made us or the air we are currently made to breathe! I was sitting around moping about the finer qualitites I did not have, finishing school, a love for cosmetics, a love for political correctness and a knowledge of WHEN to give up? Ive had the same person say "sorry! It wont work because I cannot see the good parts of what we had, my head is stuck on the negatives" for about a year and a half now.. my stupid head cannot accept (forget the heart, that one is a big wimp) that egos are very real things!

This is definitely the jet-age. Facebook updates, quick SMS-makeups and break-ups, Sam Hamilton is a dinosaur of modern times! Sadly, Im stuck on the dead poets and the almost dead rhetoric. Rhetoric IS a far cry from practise!

I was thinking about my own tendency towards verbal diarhhea as I boarded my second auto-rickshaw for the day.. I think air-conditioned Toyota Innova's are not in my near future, by choice. As arent Business Class travel, champagne or other silly things, like high-heels. I mean, Im a primate from the Indian sub-continent. The world can deal with that!

A chatty rain had started to fall, as we hit Double-Road, en route work. My most favourite client had told me "I think you should focus on sport, you are sitting on a life-time opportunity". I was thinking, "he cant be serious, who knew people actually READ the sports page??!!"... but with all skeptics, they philosiphize on the logic behind their skepticism... Im just a little different... Sometimes, I think the pursuit of a dream requires a personality truly like Holly, from "Breakfast at Tiffany's"... a "true" phony, with achievable pipe dreams..... Back to the rain, FM 94.3 was not doing the job today. Neither was thinking about what the heck was holding me back. We stopped at the last stop signal, before reaching the dreaded destination, industry. There was this kid, same story, "amma, Im hugry!"... my cosmopolitan, non-celebrity self was not going to cave in... The signal was not about to change quickly, either! Second kid, "sanjay vani newspaper beka"......... hmmmmmmmmmm............. a little girl in what looked like a school uniform at 5:30pm... post-school. working a second job. Not very unlike scraping dishes for scholarship in Chicago! Sure enough, the service industry had a few high-points today. So many philosophize about the silliness of supporting begging.. but, this kid was not begging.. she was a common citizen, involved in local commerce. A big purchase was in order. Sorry, I really despise Esprit from the bottom of my heart! I like brand-commerce, though.

W.O.E

2009-09-28T22:40:00.000-07:00

Ever had one of those days when you couldnt WAIT to tell the boy you liked that no one else would do? That you really really wished he were by your side, rather than thousands of miles away? Or one of those days when you couldnt WAIT to tell your friendly neighbor that life does extend beyond what they have seen so far, identity and achievement being part of that vision? Or one of those days when you wished desperately that you could leave it all behind and run away, towards a non-existant utopia.. the only trouble being that utopia neither suited your purse nor your sleep quality (I cannot sleep in perfectly silent places anymore!). Or one of those days when you were fed-up with your own restlessness that you wished you liked being in a beauty-parlor instead ???

Ive been on forced rest in the last month after my crazy racing mileage in August. I have been working a lot, training consistently (albeit, shorter sessions) and sleeping every chance I get. Last night, I slept for 13 hours.. I was in bed by 8pm! I suppose my body needs the break, as does my mind. Speaking of my mind, I dont know where its been, lately.

If I could sing a song to my mind, it would be "jaane kahaan gaye woh din.........."....... :) My mind IS a sucker for old romantic songs, heavy rain and pakodas after running in said rain.

Today is one of those REALLY SLOW days at work, when Im waiting, waiting, waiting and too unmotivated to put on my sales cap. So, Im off to write a few songs to my mind, hoping it will come back to me soon........... I miss it already!

And by the way, I am a wreck of emotions (WOE) today! What can a stir-crazy girl do but run? Here I go!!

Mumbai, Meri Jaan

2009-09-20T11:30:00.000-07:00

I was in Mumbai today for all of 6 hours. I LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
India is a beautiful, abused woman in a cotton saree, jasmine flowers and a strength that would scare steel manufacturers :) I love Mumbai for so many reasons....................
-- It smells of optimism and hunger
-- When hungry, it looks no different from any other city, when full, it looks nothing like any other city
-- I was so thrilled to toe the line at the mumbai half this year, 3000 extra competitors past what happened.................... BRIng IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-- Mumbai embodies the great running talents of my age.............. burn out or fade away, baby!
-- Slumdogggggggggggggggg millionaire doenst stray too far from the jhopadpattis in this city
-- I-heart-slumbdog-millionaire
-- Sleepless in Santacruz would be my Bollywood directorial debut!
-- I-heart-Mumbai
-- OWNERshiP.. this city "gets" it!

Beauty and the Beast

2009-09-07T11:40:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to get me to brush my hair, my mom booked an hours appointment with a *gasp* beauty parlor. The last time I was in one was before my brother's wedding.. the last time before that I cannot remember.. an HOUR? I must say that beauty is an endurance sport.. or much harder. I started off the Monday morning with a very relaxing visit to the dentist. I couldnt stop laughing as I kept thinking about what a terrible way this was to start a week, ears ringing with the sound of water being jetted down your teeth and a hundred work deadlines zipping past my brain at alarming speeds. I worked for a bit, after having worked on Sunday to make up for a bit of time as I had to travel again today... but, the sense of calm was shattered with the beauty parlor appointment..

These places are usually staffed by really beautiful women who know how to do things amazingly quickly, be it their hair or makeup, another no-no in my life. I am usually the ugly duckling who looks like she has stepped out of a war-zone but, its all very entertaining. There are hundreds of magazines about "The ten things he wants", curious looking pointy instruments in cups and the general smell of products that will render me "fair and lovely" and the light chatter about everything in general. Its totally girl time. While I used to have a healthy dislike of all things to do with sitting still, I have new-found respect for people that can endure this sort of event. The time today was spent being smeared with what felt like mud, laughing my head off (much to the lady's consternation), cracking my face-pack (I think thats what its called.. my face in a pack.. what has the world come to?) and continuing to drive the women inside the parlor nuts with my inability to take this seriously.

I clearly have a lot to learn. I was handed some more magic cream to make my troubles go away, err... complexion troubles that is... so, Im off to douse myself in some of that and hit the sack.

I am seriously fine with being brown and beautiful :) Why is it that all my non-desi friends would kill for a tan and yet at home all that is fair is lovely??

Ironman Canada

2009-09-03T06:10:00.000-07:00

I signed up for Ironman Canada sometime during my Ultraman Canada journey. I was not thinking very clearly at the time.. some combination of the strong sun and the incessant voice of two jobs on my back got me to do it. I've realized that I have a very difficult time sucking up to people. Be it potential sponsors, sugar-daddy's or other providers of "free things"...

In my world NOTHING is for free. This includes hurdles... even those you have to earn :) I need to work, period. I have found a few intrepid souls to help me this year though and more importantly, I've learned to ACCEPT this help. I want to say a big thanks to Tracey Macquair and her partner Michael for being my host family. Tracey is my twin sister from another mister.. or maybe our parents forgot to mention this.. She is one of those amazing age-groupers that I am going to see have a star next to their name on a slowtwitch report... where she has creamed 10 pros. It's going to happen.. just wait and watch. I finished IMC for you and Steve King girly!! You guys ROCK!!

The post Ultraman low was much bigger than the post-Ultraman high. I did get back to work right away even though there were many times I felt I should have gone home right after. I think one meets a lot of strange people on this road...Ultimately, one has to have the street smarts to figure out what works for them, rather than the people they are working with or the ego of a million others they will run into.

I had trouble finishing my long runs so, I knew it would not be an easy day at Penticton. The reasons were not just the recent Ultraman finish.. the reason was also that my training had marginally suffered during the time from last August.. but the only way to get out of the red is to keep moving. This race was nothing short of spectacular.. both in spirit, spectators and simplicity. I had no reason to quit. Not in the 18 miles I walked, not in the swim where I was in such high spirits, I was thinking I was a studly swimmer, not on the bike, not once.

Canadians are crazy. They love their triathletes. I am so impressed with this country since 2006, when I did my first race in Ottawa. I also have my number #1 supporter here, Dev Paul... Back to the race.......... no rambling report.. just a story to tell from my first race ever..

My parents were with me then and I used to take nearly 3 hours longer on the half ironman at that time..than I do now :) :) The first thing my mom said when we were getting ready for a practise swim was "why are these men standing around in their underwear"... This question has come back to haunt me on many races... added to this, my dad mispronounced "buoy" and this made my mom and I giggle for days. Even now, I cannot look a buoy in the eye without a big snort under water.

The swim was awesome and stress free... The bike was awesome and stress free... The run was awesome and a bit slow......... I dislike walking......... I have quit races before for the fear of being reduced to a walker in this sport. It makes me very angry..... but, I realized my ankles are not hulk hogan's ankles and they had their limits. I'll tell you though, some of the most amazing stories are at closing time in an Ironman. My friend Tracey gutted it out on a hard day and did not give in to her anything..

I heard many people call out my name (THANKS!! I think they called me Ann but, who cares).. THANKs anyway.. I heard ALL of you!! I heard a lady say "that's anu, from XTRI"... thanks!! I do try!!! You looked spectacular out there.......... I heard a woman telling her fellow competitor that she was reading a letter from her son because she was having a hard day.. I wanted to cry!! I'm not the crying kind, trust me..My mom bounced me on my head as a baby and I have no tear glands as a result.. Sometimes the battle is in not giving in to anger and frustration, two regulars in my life.. or any half-intelligent person's life. A stranger held my head when I barfed for the fifth time. Tonnes of volunteers did a PROFESSIONAL JOB of volunteering.. THANKS!! Tonnes of supporters brought out their lawn chairs and rang their cowbells for us all night. A very cute
doctor gave me a hard time about doing the Ultraman and doubling up with the Ironman.. turned out he had visited Tamilnadu (my native-state) and he IS Canadian so, never beyond reprieve.

I've always thought of two women to be spectacular and others are vague approximations.......... It made me very happy to be in the land of the former and try to have the mental game of the latter. I'm sure both these ladies have had hard days.. just because they smile through it doesnt mean they didnt have 'em. I hope to be the frowning version of one of the two in 7 years..

Watch for the book... its titled "How the Bangalore Buffalo overtook the BC Bullet" (in all of 3 decades.. but that's the fine print)

The fault

2009-08-20T17:22:00.000-07:00

"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings".

Well.. its been an interesting day, of sorts. I spoke to two people today. An amazing client whom Ive had the pleasure of working with for more than five years and a potential new associate, who radiates intelligence and sincerity.

I was thinking about this quote today because, the biggest challenge sometimes is not to sell one's self short. I am very excited about the coming months. I am sure it will be full of challenges but, one step at a time.

My Hero

2009-08-09T16:51:00.000-07:00

Matti is a kid I met at Ultraman, who was part of another athlete's crew! He was the voice in my head when my race was about to blow up. I remember thinking that a heart break on day 3 would be so much harder than a heartbreak on day 2. My friend Paddy had to face that but, never missed a step at the awards. Back to Matti, he was there with me, at the finish line for more than 2 hours. Children are my greatest inspiration! They say the darndest things and remind me to keep it real. Matti just raced his first triathlon, the Kids of Steel.. here is his race-report, in his own words. He is my hero! I hope I can always have your spirit kiddo. I love you, you are the BEST.

Matti's RR from KOS

lol so da pic did come out :) my mom has the pics on her phone and she is gunna send them on2 tha computer and send them 2 me by e-mail and i will forward u some oh and i will tell u da details now when i got in2 the swim some1 kicked my chin (and it HURT :( ) so i kept on swimming and then i started 2 notice my arms where geting hurt and idk y i did the distences b4 in a pool and it was easy and there was a yellow rest place on the water so i decided 2 go and rest so i rested (cought my breath) and went back in2 da water and when i did go back in 2 the water my arms started 2 hurt again and i kept on swiming and i hit my arm on the rest boat (what hurt ALOT) but i kept on swiming and when i got olmost pass the rest boat my foot hit it ( i went down in2 the water and screemed OW!!!!!) so i kept on going and when i was under the water something went in2 my mouth and i accidently swoloud i think it was a fish (poor lil dude) and then i kept on going and by then i was crying and when i got 2 the bike rack i was still crying and i dint want 2 go on but i did becouse i knew u wud want me 2 and my parents were SO suprized on how fast i was on the bike i did the 6k in less than 5mins so then it was runing time i was runing then i found a aid place and i asked them if thay sold guns so i can shoot my self (in a jake voice dont worry) thay said no and lold and i grabed the water and i kept going the first lap was 7mins and the second lap was idk how i got this time on the second lap but it was only 4mins!!! and when i crossed that finish line i saw paddy with a big smile on his face and i had a HUGE smile on mine and i even stayed at the finish line like gorgio duz but i did have a shirt on and i got my medal when i finished and my mom took so many pictures of me and im olso so happy the flash wasent on when she was taking pictures of me because if the flash was on i wud prolly b blind right now :( so ya thats how my first tri went!!!!!!!!!

Feel the music - Ultraman Canada

2009-08-06T18:14:00.000-07:00

There is a joke within my family that in case your van ever breaks down (or bullock cart, depending on the century) ANYWHERE in South India, all you would have to do is walk about 3 kilometpaers and you would find some relative or the other that would take you in. I thought this WAS a joke until our van DID break down on a tour with my lovely grammie, whose feet I would sit at for hours as she sang to me, told me stories or brought her recipes alive while feeding me quietly on the side during festivals. My grammie wrote songs for the greatest Bharatnatyam dancers in South India, learned Sanskrit when she injured her back and was unable to get out of bed for a year and dragged herself up 35 steps on a Monday morning, when we had the Varalakshmi puja (when I was around 12) and all of us had slept in (the festival had to start at 5am as we had to be in school by 7:30) even though she couldnt walk that year (owing to the same injuries).

After participating (notice, participating, not completing/racing/nailing/burning-tracks) at Ultraman Canada this weekend, I can say that if my van ever breaks down anywhere in life, all I have to do is write an e-mail or think of the 40-odd people that are now my new found extended family.

I will not belabor the effort it took the get to the start line. I will not tell you that I found so much kindness and generosity in a fellow Indian Dev Paul, whose gesture to pay the entry fee made me bawl on so many training sessions that I was barely completing thanks t 4-5 hours of sleep total all of June and July. I will not tell you about my run in with the best in the business of jerkdom for 7 months (stop it already!). I will not tell you about my crew who taught me a LOT about myself and made me realize that while I am allowed a bit of immaturity, senior citizens are not. Since I will be one next year, Im glad I finished this race this year.

So currently, I am bikeless and browner than ever..

What I will tell you however is that I found my new family. The first day I was hoping to complete the swim in about 4 hours and the ride in about 5. My favourite crew member was the paddler, who was kindness itself.Thank you Wanda! The swim was just amazing............. I was so happy........... the lake was very pretty, peaceful and murmuring the whole time about love, support and happiness. There were hills every which way I looked and my favourite color -- GrEEN... I also got to eat marble chocolate cake and coffee so, I couldnt have had a better swim session. In my greatest moment of doubt, I looked over to Wanda and thought how amazing she was to have driven 10 hours to be my eyes on the swim... and how supportive her words were to me and that I had to learn to trust her when she said we were going straight.. and trust her I did.

The bike started off normally but, the heat was unbelievable. I had no doubt that I was going to finish but as time went on, I had to get off twice to avoid dizziness and nausea. I realized later that I should have kept myself cool with sponges and focused on my race, rather than trying to please my crew with stories and tales at every stop. My eventual host family, Al Kidd was the race marshall and he saw that I was in trouble, 50ks from the finish. He handed me a big bottle of water and said "you can make it, kick ass". I knew I could make it even though I was suffering... but eventually drama enfolded as these events are very hard on the crew, who have to drive and stop the car nearly every 10ks .... I avoided pit stops like the plague in the last 20 or so ks and asked al to hand me water as best as he could as I was afraid they would stop me and take my bike away.. they wanted me to stop every kilometer (for the last 20, which would have ensured a DNF).

At the end of day 1, Al was kind enough to take me in. I slept 4 hours and started day 2 severely dehydrated. The crew chief and I decided to keep our issues out and finish day 2. When I started day2, I had a lot of doubts about finishing but I could only think about the "Drink and pee, no IV" mantra from an AIDS ride I did in 2003. I drank and salted and peed like a maniac in the first two hours and got stronger as the day went on.

Al Kidd is a gift to the misfits, waifs and strays of the world. He was a bit surpised when I woke up at 4am on day 2 and insisted that he take me to Dennys (after eating at Dennys the night before) for the purchase of 5 milkshakes as nutrition for day 2. I figured the less time I stopped, the more I would move and the less I would talk to said crew... better for my race. Now Dennys, for the uninformed, is an elite eating institution that deserves the utmost respect. When I was a woman in Engineering in Raleigh, North Carolina, hanging out with my best friends (most of whom are gay, artistic and extremely opinionated, specially about spam in tins), I was introduced to this institution and another one called Waffle house.. Dennys however became a permanent fixture in my life thorough my working career, so much so that me and the other engineers at Austin would wear lipstick to this place (except the one time when it was 3am and we were there after a project deadline and heard a bald white guy talking about stalking his ex and looking over to us at alarmingly frequent intervals). So, Dennys was my secret nutrition (as were slurpies and snickers bars). The last 60 ks were very rough on me but, all I could see was my mom's face and hear her voice. The only person that told me all year, over and over, that I should start the race.. finishing was not important and irrelevant... starting was. She is the voice in my head and the wind on my back and I see farther because I am on the shoulders of giants, my parents.

A lot fo people struggled on day 2 and while I had a lot of mental demons and had nothing to give to the others in terms of energy (my fellow competitors SPECIALLY) who had so much love and encouragement and made me BELIEVE That there were 40 people who wanted me to succeed. I heard ALL the things they said and it meant the WORLD to me. We ended day 2 on a positive note and there were hugs, kisses and smiles all the way. And no, I did not see the Hilton on the way to Summerland..

My friend Roberto who was crewing for his 28 year old nephew and held ice on my head and encouraged me a lot on day 2 told me tat no one quit on the run and that I should rest and give it my all on day 3... the toughest part was behind me. I met an amazing kid called Matt at the end of day 2 and his parents and him were my real crew for day 3.

I was so estatic starting the run... even blew kisses to my crew for the first marathon even though I couldnt talk or say anything to my amazingly handsome shadow, John Callos... who ran the damn thing with a broken foot. My other shadow harvey told me that Seymour Cray wouldve been proud of me and I laughed to myself... good ol' Minnesota and the mid-west, I-heart-the-mid-west (THE mid-west, no place like it). When I did have trouble communicating with the crew car, I focused on all the good things they had done for me in the last three days.
They brought along Wanda, a gem in the sky and an all round awesome person. They picked me up at 1am on Friday morning after delayed flights. They helped me do a quick re-con of the course. They put back sunglasses on my face when I dropped mine, past the wall... Better to focus on the good things, I told myself. Being crew is a thankless job.. the athlete is in a bubble with a good crew.

Past the first marathon, I was in the company of my beautiful friends Beth Brewster, her amazing crew who made me laugh my head off with funky chicken moves, pom poms and Beth with her red socks and amazing attitude. Jennifer Huffman was kicking some serious ass up the hills and keeping me alive by asking me to get out of the traffic.. The last 10ks were an act of faith. I was so broken somewhere... but I started to hear Mattis voice, his promise to wait for me at the finish and thought how nice it would be if we could leave our egos at home like children did. You got me to the finish Champ, TRUST ME :) I am loving the thought of watching you grow up... you are my hero Matti!

In the last 3ks, I met three angels called Sheena, Alexis and Darwin Holt. My guiding light was Al Kidd again, telling me the splits (and lying through his teeth as it turned out :) making the distance shorter than it was). Sheena held me hand for the last 2 ks, Alexis gave me water and coke and Darwin looked concerned but said "get her some coke".

I was spent at the finish line. That was all I had to give that day. Matti, Mori, Brenda, Dorette, Beth, Jennifer, Rachel (all these kids were here to greet me) as were the RD Steve Brown (who has been AMAZING and is one of the last AMAZING RDs in this age of WTC-controlled BS). Tracey and Michael held my head and warmed my muscles as I shivered uncontrollably for nearly 90 minutes at the finish. The massage table came to me :) Matti was there the whole time and I was trying to look strong but, I am not sure I did.

There are too many amazing people to thank... I am sorry if I left anyone out.. Sheryl and David Cobb, Curtis, Rick Kent, Kelvin, Mrs. Harvey, the little mister from Seattle and his amazing parents, connie, the handsome spanish men (oooooooooooooh...... Im in love with SPAIN and all things spanish), the brilliant brazilian, the shirtless giorgio, the amazing shanna armstrong who got me started on this crazy journey, Jason Lester (you are a LEGEND, I LOVE YOU), simon poo-bear bourne, the german wolf :), Paddy M, Jason, Sara, Todd (!!! ROCKSTAR), the amazing top 2 and their shirtless crews (views were VERY appreciated :) :)).......... THANK YOU. It takes a village to (have a breakdown) and get an Indian to the finish line.. And of course, the amazing Steve King and Neil and Gwyn Kidd........ Every minute in the ER and medical bill was worth it.

Until next time, FEEL THE MUSIC!

Make the Call

2009-07-26T10:52:00.000-07:00

Well.. there is only so much you can do to avoid pondering too deeply over things! I tried to put it off for about 3-5 years, tired and disillusioned with Non-Profits and other proponents of social causes.. Compassion is different from social-service however and while I dont see my role as a social-servant, I definitely think lending my voice to what I used to (and still) believe in, is not a lost cause. This is a rather interesting development (in my life) and just to give you a rundown of what brought this on, Ill start at the beginning... I went to a very modest Catholic school with very modest fees. We saw a lot of different economic classes in our school. Most of us didnt have too much to begin with. As we grew older together (between standards 1 to 10), we kids partitioned into our own sub-groups. There were the jocks with nice legs and basketball practise. There were us nerds with good vocabulary and high-scores. There were those who hated school (and probably have the best personalities today :) Still seeking these out).. and those that were just multi-talented. All of us were pretty idealistic, however.

This sorta stayed with me throughout my childhood and adulthood, thus far. In school, I remember spending my afternoons with this girl who had stayed behind, traumatizing her with my confused rendition of what the Geometry teacher had taught us that day and helping with homework (whether that helped her or held her back is upfor question :)). Through college there was so much to scream our throats hoarse about, Kraft foods, fast food, women in engineering, domestic abuse, childrens rights and AIDS awareness. In fact, most of my long rides and love for biking was born out of doing activities with the sociologists and the geographers, who always had an opinion about everything.

I got disillusioned simply because human flaws are omnipresent. I met a lot of people whose only identity became the time they spent helping others. It did not suit my purse (as I had to always hold multiple jobs to afford things) or my time-frame.. added to this, volunteering came with tax-breaks for some..so, these are the things one does not want to deal with, ideally.

This summer has been quite interesting, so far. While I still love sport and have set my sights higher than before (as I am sick of belonging to a crowd of glory-seekers.. sorry, not good enough for me) I think Im back to wanting it to mean something. This is an inherently private and quiet quest.. and Im Ok with that.. as I said, I dont find my primary identity in social service.. however, I am willing to choose the path of moderation and actually move forward with doing my bit. Im trying to contact a few seemingly intelligent people to see what they have to say... Ill keep you posted on how it goes!

The Bangalore Buffalo

2009-07-24T13:24:00.000-07:00

Once in a while (not once upon a time), very, very rarely, I get fired up about things. I choose to express such feelings even less frequently and hardly ever read the news, unless its for work. Bill Gates however is worth reading about simply for the amusement factor. Bing is the next thing in search (sure, honey!), India needs to produce more Computer Science PhDs (sure, honey!) and so on and so forth. Growing up in Bangalore was very different than what it has turned into now. Of course, for a triathlete, its hell. Waking up at 3am is overrated and really affects your happiness in the long term, just for a bike ride.. added to this, the point of exercise is to get outside.. somehow, communicating this to crazy coaches who draw analogies to tough people that train indoors in the winter was never easy... "yes coach, they train indoors 4 months of the year... im training indoors year-round... thats why I hate the treadmill.... etc. etc."

Parts of my city in specific and country in general have gotten a lot richer, thanks to outsourcing, off-shoring, or whatever you want to call it... perhaps the affluence of a nation is easily seen with the amount of amateur athletes in nice nike gear... why doesnt anyone get it? Now that we are somewhat better off, we have time to run, to think about health, to want to spend time with our families and raise our children well, nothing wrong with any of this.. Of course, being the "third-world" (the term itself being an abomination) outsourcing has also crowded our cities beyond their current capacities and my city is not where I grew up. Everyday trees get cut down to widen roads.. I say (everywhere in the world, not just India) people are too lazy to get off their high horses or cars to walk anywhere.. and if the road is too narrow, maybe a car shouldnt be allowed there in the first place.. since when did cars become more important than pedetrians (oh wait, I missed the 2000 y.o memo.. sorry!).

Anyway, growing up all over the world, my ideas of happiness and progress have a relative comparison scale. For example, outsourcing is very similar to what happened in America even, when the great Steinbeck wrote his awesome books. We are like the Okies, we work for less therefore we attract investment. There is nothing wrong with wanting to live well.. and its not just Bangalore or Beijing that wants this.. everyone, all over the world, does.

From a somewhat young Indian's point of view, outsourcing has killled and encouraged creativity equally. Its only the skeptics that buy one version or the other. I believe the news is good, outsourcing or no outsourcing. Working closely with the innovators in my own country and mostly with Tier 2 and 3 companies, individuals and students, I see that a lot of savvy people and moving along with gaining global competence, with ideas, with marketability and just sheer participation. Yeah, that neighbors son has made his milion and has time to sip coffee and write books and be a rabble rouser about environmental policy, what is so bad about that?

Point being, inertia is a good thing. Sure, I get very riled about the "state-of-affairs" at home but, whats to not like about being able to stand up and do things that my parents couldnt have even dreamt of doing?

What has this ramble got to do with triathlon, you ask? Well, here is a little story.. i started off on what I thought was a 3 hour ride, which turned into a 4:50 ride or more.. When Im riding, I have no concept of time, space or effort. This is why my biking sucks. Sport, like my studies, seems to require an element of concentration to get in the efforts, once in a while. I did not realize this until now... but now that I have realized it, Ive also realized that just training big hours and being self-rigteous about it is not enough.. Laziness manifests itself in so many ways, specially when you think you have time. If you flip the coin and tell yourself you have no time and have to get this done and done right, then the whole equation is different. So, Im currently on a mission, to learn a lot from a smart person with the soul of a mid-western farmer and the vocabulary of Walt Whitman.. Hey, I dont really mind that he is from Buffalo.. he has so much to teach me! Specially about riding a bike.. So, hopefully, Bangalore will also have a lot to offer.. in terms of bounty of the intellectual and the nike-wearing kind.

Old School

2009-07-19T18:20:00.000-07:00

Random Thoughts:

-- I heart Will Ferrel..
-- America is the country with the most geographic diversity, some great food choices, some horrible food choices, major creativity and optimism
-- India is the country with the most unassuming folks and my heart strings are always played at home
-- I heart India :)
-- Hope is central to being
-- Living every day to its fullest is an act of faith
-- Realizing our potential is a lonely and difficult path
-- I dont-heart kicking drills in the pool
-- Having more than one gift is a privilege, we must use that well
-- Im very old school about romance and true love
-- Modern day populations age faster as news reaches us much faster than it did Sam Hamilton
-- I dont-heart TV
-- I heart hard-work
-- Human beings as creatures were meant to move, a lot... remember the hunter-gatherer syndrome.........
-- I heart mushrooms and spinach
-- I shouldnt have eaten an omlette in 89 degree weather
-- I dont like random conversations unless its spontaneous
-- I am not afraid of failure, I would fail only if I didnt try

Joooooooooon the thief!!

2009-07-08T14:00:00.000-07:00

June has come and gone and I have a LOT of activity to report in that small amount of time, a month! Of course, being too inarticulate and private to spill it here, Ill just leave it as a teaser :) Good news, Im losing a bit of weight Id put on with my viral fever in May..... :) Always good to be light. Better news, Ive realized what was bugging me for most of June. Ive only realized it now so, I have to spend July figuring out a contingency plan. Things have been so hectic that I almost had a mini-breakdown after a nearly missed flight. Doing a lot of training and sleeping only 5 hours has some really funny effects making me laugh for days. Anyway, the BEST news is that I am living with someone who is borderline sane for once and this is great :) I dont think I will ever live with a non-athlete ever again. Its just not worth the headache. I have some awesome highs and silly lows to report from last month but, maybe another time.. Here is a picture from a great day indoors, testing my mind to the limit... As they say, the game is mostly up in your head.

Moody in May

2009-05-31T19:25:00.000-07:00

May has been upsy downsy.. Ive re-visited my old life with a passion I used to know only a long time ago. I love using my brain and I dont think ALL research is overrated (just most of it :) .. havent you heard?? Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach!!)

Lets see, some of the highlights of May were:

Running up a big mountain pass in the falling snow with torn shoes, I will not forget that!

This was a very special weekend. I was out with some fantastic friends, had so many laughs and lived to train for the whole weekend. Given the hectic pace of life including the happy parting with my last set of idiotic roommates, this was icing on the cake. Honestly, I have a theory about idiots.. there are plenty of them and their distinguishing characteristics are insecurity, incessantly offering free unsolicited opinions and an inability to stop talking. So, remember the 3-I test to identify idiots :) Maybe it should be the 5I test (insecuity, incessant advice, inability to stuff it to identify idiots). Man, I might be a genius undiscovered :)

I went on a long long ride that day with nothing but my thoughts to play with me.. and I loved that too!

I suffered another week with said pathetic roomies before doing a duathlon as a training race.. My nose was running the whole time and this was the onset of a viral cough. I travelled around the world in 2 hours, which was kinda cool! I got to see Japan............ and eat authentic sushi. YUM!

I slept a lot for a week.. went to my cousin's wedding and swam in a lake. I also met some awesome kids who were very psyched about sport. I get to meet my best friend or one of my best friends after a very long time and I am looking forward to some good riding, in the days to come. I had a much needed vacation and I am stronger mentally for a few months of hard work.

Onwards we go!

Branded Balustrades

2009-04-28T17:44:00.001-07:00

This is somewhere from the South China Sea! I had a blistering day and raced with a concussion for 13 hours or so. Its occasionally a good thing to have such races because it really teaches you a bit more about yourself. One more stone in the fortress... onwards we go!

Un-Titled

2009-04-13T13:17:00.000-07:00

Thought for the day!

Auckland Half Ironman

2009-03-29T18:24:00.000-07:00

As I grow older in this sport (this is my sophomore year with proper training facilities for 8 months of the year since 2007) I realize firmly that my expectations change, the reasons for doing this sport change and most of all, self-realization does happen. I realized for example that the reason I was going so slowly on my double run days (when I thought I would train like a runner for a marathon, early in the season) was because I forgot to shave my legs. Now, any law of aerodynamics will point out what a sin this is. A culmination of physiotherapists, posture analysts and mental therapists also gave me lots of insight into the 20 things I was doing wrong and sure enough, I didnt listen. I dont understand what things like "dont swim because your shoulder is sore" means. But, self-realization came along and I realized that I only do what I want, when I want to. One of the greatest privileges of being the world's fas(t)test Indian. Bring it on!

The Auckland half ironman is probably one of the more interesting races (besides some others Ive had the honor of participating in, around the texas/arizona regions). There is one aid station on the bike-course, selling something vile called a leppin squeezy. As you exit the swim, someone associated with the race asks you "what is your number" which when delirious (as walruses often are with an excessive intake of oxygen) I just couldnt not get myself to answer. On the run, there are several coke stations and that is the only highlight of the race (besides the absolutely stunning location). This year was my third year at this race and I went because I needed my head to toughen up. I knew there would be ten things that went wrong at this race (at least) and that would get my attitude back on track. For starters, the race is plenty hilly and there was construction and clearly the roads had not been swept. This lead to a spill and one of our friends, David, went down.. his race ended there. So, I knew I had plenty of organizational difficulties coming my way.. of course, this was the whole reason for starting this race. I needed a mental warm-up for the year to come.

The swim was stellar (and started only 10 minutes late, which opposed to 2007 when we were 20 minutes late was nothing) and I was lovin' it. The water is almost always calm at Maraetai beach and there are exactly two buoys, easily confused (as they are white and black orca bouys) with sail boats. I had a stellar swim and had a PB by 3 minutes. I really wanted the boys to pay attention to me at this race so, following Mrs. Martinez's sad demise thanks to some wonderful racking at another race, and a year's battle with that big ding on her frame, I had to replace her with a second hand blue, who does have a clue on what it takes to be a great bike.

Of course, all the testing in the world cannot replace training well on new equipment and I paid for it with 20 minutes off the bike walking and running up hills, staying in the smallest gear on the flats for a while as the rear wouldnt shift well etc. etc.

I was in a good mind to turn in my chip after the bike ride but that sounded too easy. Besides, one has got to respect the fight and the fighters. Talk is very cheap but grammo wheels ain't :) And I had borrowed these for this race and was seeing speeds on the flats that I did not know existed. So, something was working.. just not up and down hills, apparently. Onto the run, I thought Id run a lap, turn in my chip, put on my walkman and finish the race as a workout. However, the first lap was a cruisy run and I did pretty good.. I reconsidered and thought about the times I had had fun doing these events. They were filled with positive imagery and the thrill of gettin' it done. I ran the second lap at the pace I couldve run the whole run but, I had specific instructions to not nuke myself on the run. I told myself to be patient. That was all I needed to get to the finish line on Saturday and while cruising I still ran a decent time in the heat.

Sure, this was not a personal best (far from it) or a miracle in the making BUT, the swim was a personal best and the run taught me a few things about eating properly on the bike. Isotonic drinks are not overrated on a hot day :)

I had a great day and I know I am getting fitter. I can feel it and thats really satisfying. My goal for 2009 is no DNFs on any race unless im in a truck or road-kill or both. I have a friend called Shirley who does about every damn race in the country and then every other race outside the country. Her motivation is excelling in her age-group (60+) and Ive never once heard her stress out about solids, liquids, pre-race nervousness, post-race taper, fitness, quad size, aerodynamics or lycra. She just does. No explanations of why she did this race 3 weeks after IM-New Zealand (yes, a half ironman 3 weeks after an ironman) or why she is about to do some crazy riding in a week from now. People that sit around and talk about training, taper, correct-technique, glute-activation, hamstring de-activation and rest clearly missed the memo on Shirley. Shes my idol! Finishes every race with a big ol' smile and has roast chicken ready to consume at the finish (that is preparation!)

Its going to be a big long year for me. I am singing "say you will" to another person :) CRAP. I hate waiting! But, all good things are worth waiting for, so, hurry up!

Speaking of aerodynamics, I DID pay attention on the run and took off my ten kg waist pouch at T2. I think that explains the run split.

Stay tuned for monthly reports on on-going exploits.

The comical and the mundane

2009-03-14T12:56:00.000-07:00

Well, I am in splits reading Amitabh Bachhan's blog on his misbehaving co-passenger. I read this blog once in a while for the quotations in Hindi, which are pretty amazing. I have no idea what the man stands for or does not stand for and that doesnt bother me. I am simply entertained that even a big star like that has to deal with a-holes in airports and aeroplanes.

Any athlete can tel you how much aeroplanes love us. They are constantly trying to charge us as much as they can for extra baggage and ocassionally the counter staff that checks you in, pretend like they own the airline.. uh, I think not! I think you only work there.

Ive had varying luck. Certainly very little luck in Bangalore's old airport with a particular Singapore Airlines chap I will never forget. I got into an argument with him along the lines of "who cares if my bike is 5kg overweight, its the only piece of baggage I have.. what if I were 5kgs heavier.. would you like me to wear all my clothes on the flight?", etc. etc. Ive also had other funny stories with people kicking when Im trying to sleep aboard British Airways flights (consequently, I stopped taking those flights), rude air-hostesses and other such things. I think the best way is the Big B way, observe, vent, MOVE ON.

Very entertaining!

In other news, Ive been trying to connect with some mates as Ive been dreaming about my old school. I think they made monsters out of us, preaching idealism and moral-science. The truth is a little less pretty out in the world but, I am still glad to have had my childhood and the opportunities my hard-working parents made available to me. Unfortunately, I think we lose touch with the quieter ones and some of these kids were my better friends. There was also the louder bunch that was very adamant about having the best vocabulary in town and I hope I reconnect with them as well.. Hindi tuitions in Preeti Mahalingam's house are a childhood memory I can never forget. Too funny! The teacher was about half our size (we were well-rounded nerds, literally) and had me in splits as the biggest reason I was in Preeti's house was to be around her amazing family, in that amazing flat of hers right opposite the school and to get to know this girl better. She was so cool! Knew all the music and musicians and was a lefty that had better handwriting and a great attitude. There were others too, Deepa Rajamani (also lived in a flat and protected me from some meanies when playing there on Saturdays), Deepa Adkoli (girl, thanks for getting me on that damn bike as a kid, see how far I can pedal now?!) and Seetha, a really quiet girl too!

Well, wish me luck in reporting the comical and being normal when it comes to the mundane (but very important) tasks such as keeping in touch.

Adios for now.. enough procrastinating, must do some work!

Hopes and Heartbreaks

2009-03-09T16:22:00.000-07:00

This picture is atop the Hope Saddle, en-route a blinding 430 kilometer solo ride. Let me tell ya, the mind plays tricks on you when you are doing that long.. but, I believe I see a bit of my friend Derek in such times.. and I see a bit of everyone that hopes, dreams and gets through the best and the worst of times with a smile on their face. Its about hoping and dreaming, at the end of the day.

Weak Salty Noodles

2009-03-08T07:13:00.000-07:00

Well, a smart lady once asked me about overtraining! Here is how it is.. ocassionally, one tends to get carried away in training and really go overboard, in all aspects possible -- Intensity, Volume, bad-hydration, bad-replenishment, etc. Once these wonderful factors of incompetence (or in my case, forgetfulness) come together, we are in deep doo doo and officially "overtrained" or just plain cannot sleep at 3am (like me, today). Of course, more severe forms of this exist that are more permanent but, Im not there yet.. this will go away after a couple of slower/easier days and more sleep.

I had a killer day on Sunday, doing some heat training for some upcoming races. I had already had a big Saturday, in terms of training. On Sunday, I backed that up with another solid day but, put the long-run at the very end of it as Ive been working on my biking a bit this week and wanted to make sure I had a solid ride. I had had a 90 minute nap beforehand but, somedays are just epic!

I was on a 2 hour run, minus water, having eaten 4 hours prior. It was nearly 35 degrees outside, the ambient temperature being raised by a hot hot wind. I was singing for the first 75 minutes of my run after which the singing stopped. I was in a world of pain and suffering. However, I reasoned with myself that it would be less pain and suffering to finish the run rather than to turn back, as that would mean more running and I went through with it. In fact, I had no intention to quit.. I was just reasoning :) One tends to lose their mind with low salt levels :)

I had already sweat buckets and stopped once or twice, which I never do on my runs unless I am absolutely desperate.. I finished the workout but I was knackered. I rolled straight homewards and had major spasms in my right calf. Then I had whole body spasms for about 3 hours, owing to a lack of hydration and sodium. Added to this, I couldnt eat quickly enough to replenish my store. I felt like shit for about 5 hours post the run. When I tried to sleep, I had had a bowl of food (tops) and slowly downing the water in me. The spasms let up for four hours of sleep and I was promptly up at 3am, staring at the ceiling :)

I decided it was time for some weak, salty noodles as my stomach now felt a lot better and one does need to FEED THE MACHINE!

I need to work on my nutrition issues a lot. For a working woman, this is the killer. Added to a lack of rest, one can set one's self back quite a bit.. More on this in a while.. but, my weekend was great and when I think back on workouts like this, I will recall that hard work is not such a bad idea, afterall!

Ultraman Canada

2009-03-05T16:38:00.001-08:00

I am very happy to announce that this race is now firmly on my schedule, thanks to the generosity of two of my dear friends and fellow athletes. I am looking forward to doing this race as it presents a life-size challenge for me and my heart is in it, 200%.

I never under-estimate the work this sport takes and after a fortnight of 5am wake-up calls and being in bed no earlier than 10:30pm, with mind-boggling amounts of work, training and studies in between, this is sure going to be a sweet weekend!

Watch out for an article about my (tiny) life in TimeOut Bengaluru, which is now out on the stands. I havent read it yet but, I appreciate the interest in off-beat sports.

I always hear your voice, boss.

2008-11-30T17:29:00.000-08:00

"All fighters are pig-headed some way or another: some part of them always thinks they know better than you about something. Truth is: even if they're wrong, even if that one thing is going to be the ruin of them, if you can beat that last bit out of them... they ain't fighters at all."

I cannot remember the number of times I have watched this movie. This and the poem "Ulysses" by ALT are truly the works I live by! Ive been up for 9 hours already and its only 2pm! Im working on my own optimism and creating my own serendipity.

Message in a Bottle

2008-11-26T17:05:00.000-08:00

It is 2pm, I am at work on two deadlines that are coming up in less than 24 hours. Ive been up since 5am and on the move since. Two hours ago, I happened to read the news as its so hard to concentrate on one thing, these days. There are so many different things to distract us, the internet, planning and a restless heart that wonders what it should be doing right-er.

I just read the news about the bomb blasts in Mumbai. This is the latest in a whole series that has spanned not just about every major city in India but also the rest of the world. For two hours after reading the news, I continued to work on whatever report I was working on. Someone Ive just met keeps reminding me that you can conquer space but never time, I think I am in love with this someone, secretly. I am a disbeliever in main-stream news being all important because the main-stream press is just not all that original or gutsy of late, it seems. Ive wept for the madness in this world today, for our own country where poverty and internal conflict add new dimensions to any natural disaster or such mindless acts of terror. I remember a story that my sister-in-law told me about eating at a restaurant in Bangalore, listening to the news of a bomb-blast in Bangalore that very same instant and continuing to finish up lunch... very similar to my continuing to finish up work.

Ive pondered long and hard about what this sport means to me. One smart man I know told me that I was fighting the wrong battles. I am so angry about the inequalities and that manifests itself as a grand goal in the toughest sport in the world. I dont know what that goal is. All I know is that I am going to get there.. that is enough for now. After all, this is the very moment we truly have control over.

Basic Instincts

2008-11-23T17:10:00.001-08:00

This blog is just to cheer me up! I am going through some major hell right now. Ive just moved out of a place where a roommate thought that "Hindu" was a language. Of course, other things like my never being home, leaving the microwave door ajar for 5 minutes and having a lot of energy really bothered her too much to live with me. Its a shame because the other roommate was North Indian and we really got along well.

My life is consequently a bloddy mess and Im living at a friend's now, until this situation sorts itself out.

In the meanwhile, Ive been thinking about the upcoming season. Im bummed to be so behind work and my plans but, patience is the only solution to situations that are not in our control.

I was up until 3am working, to catch up on things. I just could not sleep.. Im so wound up, unhappy and miserable right now, I could cry. Added to this, I am in a place where I used to have a great friend but, we are not on talking terms anymore. In fact, this person is like the Ivory Tower of relationships, there are no second chances and "third walls" to climb. I have no idea why I waste time on people that have such big egos in the first place? I have no ego when it comes to my friends, teachers or mentors. I am very clear about that and live my stereotypes.

Anyway, I have a couple of instincts that I have to figure out this coming few months. One of them has to do with patience. The other has to do with taking a few risks. The third has to do with strengthening my inner voice.

Time to go sort out the day and get out of the pity hole I have dug for myself.

Carolina

2008-10-23T11:36:00.000-07:00

Her tears are falling like the spanish moss
Disappearing
Into beauty found in beauty lost

So it goes
The summer blooms and fades away
Like moonlight falling on a bed
And there can be no solace in remembering
The words we never said

Faded postcards
Of all the places she loves best
Take her far away
As she presses wrinkles from her cotton dress

So it goes
The summer blooms and fades away
Like moonlight falling on a bed
And there can be no solace in remembering
The words we never said

So it goes
The summer blooms and fades away
Like moonlight crashing to the earth
And there can be no solace in remembering
The way things never were

Optimism

2008-10-07T10:19:00.000-07:00

If optimism be a kite on a string, all you have to do to get it closer is to reel it in :)

I had a long long long long day! It was more than an 18 hour day, and then some. But I am slowly starting to remember the hard work I put in and how much I believed in myself, once. With all its problems, I still love India! I will not wax eloquent on why, what, when and whether, but, lets just say its my breed. Ive taken a few knocks with my sense of humor and persistence, I am sure those are not qualities one can be taught. I do realize that I get in my own road too often when I am pessimistic. I am about to quit that bad habit, as of today.

I admire all my hard working neighbors, some of whom come home even later than me, from work. I had to fix a flat tire (or rather get it fixed) in my awful car just yesterday and all the people helped.. even though it was 9pm and they had gotten home after a hellish day at work! Indians seriously do not get stressed out easy. Today, I had to drop off some papers at 8pm and the lady who had been at work since 9am sat me down, chatted about my sporting activities and was so hospitable, even though it was time for her to close up and go home. She was not grumpy, just really made my day.

I find inspiration in all the aunties running in the early morning in a saree and tennis shoes or canvas keds. You are my inspiration. I find inspiration in random words and acts of kindness. I find inspiration in little children, who say the darndest things and have me laughing or thinking for days sometimes. I find inspiration in bravery, the quiet kind. I find inspiration in persistance. I find inspiration in hard work and strength of character, Im old-school see.. I was only privy to the greatest stories of our time, the ones that talked about resolve and true love and great adventures. I find inspiration in silence.

I will keep that list open for updates. I dont get the present generation "txt-ing" and wasting their time. I also dont get cheap talk.. so, I have to watch myself first. Keep at it. Work hard and have faith in the work.

Onwards we go...........

Domestic Bli(ng)ss

2008-09-24T02:42:00.000-07:00

Well well well, this must be the month of bumper sticker updates at the speed of lightning.. but, I feel like writing.. publicly voicing my opinion, which is sort of rare in itself. After all, who cares for "another" blog about a preppy, middle-class, athlete-wannabe's rambles on life, the number 10 and such things anyway? I figured this journal is a way to get my buddies, spread over too many different places, to write me once in a while and tell me where my synapses are firing incorrectly... so, Mr. Hall and Ms. Davis, if you be reading this, I expect unsolicited wisdom on all things mundane.

Ive been thinking about domestic bliss lately. I am the epitome of individualism in my books.. owing partially to my aunts bouncing me on my head as a baby :) Several brain cells were damaged prematurely and I dont seem to process things linearly anyway. I think too many people are fond of telling us about what we cannot do. My work is managing a small team of people whose well being matters to me at the end of the day. People I work for are fun and the job itself is challenging to the extent it can be so, I dont mind it at all. My friends used to tell me Ive got a head for business and small or big, its good to be in the spin of all things commerce. It beats a 9-5 job anyday of the week and I doubt my temperment would do well in the presence of authority, such as a boss. Ive been known to jump fences from camps and any other such confining spaces so, this is my only option for survival, self-reliance.

Speaking of domestic bliss, being a foot-loose athlete does not qualify one for a normal relationship. In fact, the life of an athlete is very boring, difficult, boring, ascetic, boring and oh, boring. I was reading about some Olympic dreamers that wanted a nibble at normality, in an article that was talking about L.Armstrong coming out of retirement. I dont compare to L.Armstrong or anyone fast and fabulous but, I think Im in this sport of keeps.. so, translating that to the day-to-day requriements of being in bed by 9pm is sorta funny and as Ive realized in the last year of really trying hard to get to bed by 9pm, very simple. No eating outside (I went to a restraunt last weekend with the peeps and had food-poisoning sorts of effects for two days.. and I didnt even eat that much), no socializing, no late nights, no parties. I cannot even eat as much as I want and when I want. When Im unhappy, the parts it shows in the most are my food habits. I went for three years without ice-cream and then went on a binge for about a week in August. Definitely something to think about.

So, Ive come to the conclusion that though several prospects seems interesting and even appealing (what a change! A few years ago I wouldve run screaming from anything resembling a steady relationship) its going to be a tough choice to "settle" for working through a relationship where there are no common interests, goals or just plain support for such goals. Ive decided to drown my sorrows by sniffing some butterscotch ice-cream and bidding goodbye to boys for good.

Gotta get to work on that 10K time, get my thoughts in order and stop waiting for things to happen........ I dont want to wake up when I am 35 and regret not running down the road not taken.. I feel like Christopher Columbus today :) No fancy foreign coach, trainer or best-friend can be of any help in my quest.. just sympathize with the comedy of the situation and tell me that they will stick around, no matter that my brain is confused by this sudden tendency for domestic bliss.

Life in Song

2008-09-21T22:57:00.000-07:00

Im on a roll......... All the usual suspects are in play -- unheated pools, difficult roads, desi mama's yelling "sakkad madam" on my morning jogs, interesting clients, a receding economy, stock market investments crashing left and right.. and I couldnt care less. I woke up with this song "Kabhi Kabhi" from the movie Jaane tu ya jaane na, playing in my head.. I used to run with some folks that thought it beneath themselves to watch Hindi movies, forget Kannada flicks, right? I love languages! Most of my Ipod is crammed with the latest and greatest vernacular verses. I have been super happy for some reason and Im going to hold on to that feeling.. for all the nights of dark distress and doubt.

I have a new friend, Joop. Now ol' Joop is quite the character.. he is rather rotund and OK about that fact. Further, Joop is full of life and has this radius of extemporaneous happiness and strength that I love. He is my new dost! Joops weight problems are the butt of a lot of jokes but, he doesnt care! He constantly laughs at my issues with food and stupidity surrounding it thereof. More on Joop soon... he is a handful to write about.

Scratchproof

2008-09-18T20:49:00.000-07:00

I have been dealing with some major frustration with international travel and the time things take now-a-days. As I grow older however, I have realized that there is no point in fixating on what is frustrating us and letting go of everything else. Hard work is not glamorous, I tell myself. As long as I work every day to the best of my ability, I am set. So, that is what I have been doing. As usual, I have more than one interesting project on my plate and this week saw about five very late nights (yes, its only Friday today!) and early mornings. I managed to get in some exercise three of those five days and I was psyched about that. The mind is a very powerful place. We do need to stay connectd with our goals and dreams, no matter what the odds and how they shift with our relative stress at work, with relationships etc.

I have also been missing my friend that passed away in June, very deeply. September marked the third month he was gone and I know, like his mom knows, that he is never coming back. To tell you a little story about my friend, he was an artist, loved rock music and bikes (the ones you pedal, not the ones that smoke up the roads), was a very good son, a very good friend and went to Swaziland to work with the Peace Corps. He really believed that his life could make a difference and he did what he thought he could with it. I remember being mad at him for this and that and being a lousy friend in general because I couldnt grapple with his loss. He was diagnosed with Gliblastoma more than a year ago and what a horrible day it was when I heard about it. He is the only friend in my set of friends who has travelled all the way to my humble home in India, to visit my parents, to tramp around on a holiday while being taken aback by so many cultural nuances of our country (which was why I was mad at him) and just being a regular, honest guy.. so, to say that he is a shade in my own heart would be putting it lightly.

I was driving home after the hell week (almost week, I know its only Friday now.. it seemed like Saturday yesterday) and had to pass through Cubbon Park on the way. I was 7pm, and I had slept about 5 hours the night before, badly. There was a kid on the street, you know, the same one you always see and never pay attention to and angrily tell yourself "I am not supporting poverty by paying this kid!" doing tricks. I think he was less than 10 and had a whole bag of tricks, flip turns, a funny cap with a ball attached to a string on that cap demonstrating the principles of some physics lesson Im sure I have excelled at in the past, no shoes and dirt covering every inch of his little body, that was not covered with clothes. I totally cracked. Here we are, the great nation that is "moving up the value chain", whatever the hell that means, having to sit in traffic 95 minutes of our day, one way so, lets forget about exercise and healthy lives entirely (even for us just working class people) and a side of our humanity that will never let us sleep. I have had so many major conflicts in my life about being a triathlete. How do you drive home, with ten of these kids banging on your door in that 95 minute drive, walk into your gym and hit the treadmill for 30 minutes, as if nothing happened?

But, I do have the answer for that today.. after sleeping a whole 12 hours starting 8pm last night :) I think that a great love for endurance sports keeps me scratchproof to some extent. So many disappointments to face in life, so many conflicts and so many problems one seems to be able to do less and less about as we grow older.. When I was younger, I didnt want to be a paper-pusher. Save a few exciting projects that come my way, sometimed I feel, I am exactly that, a paper-pusher. And I do it gladly because somewhere I have a small sense of responsibility for the people who work for me and the people I work for. Besides, if my buddy thought his life could make a difference and went after it like there was literally no tommorow, I wont settle for less.

I dont think that my being a triathlete will solve the world's problems... but it solves my problems and helps me sleep at night, spend less time being a consumer at some air-conditioned mall and eating more than I need to. I am OK with that demand on my self.

Its a brand new day!

Jame Raho

2008-09-11T19:29:00.000-07:00

I woke up with a headache and infinite optimism! No, thats not catch-22, that is PERFECT. Its a nice, bright day outside.. and I am not going to complain about the smog. I love being home, I love being close to people I love, I love working hard towards my dreams, I love working, period.

Once in a while, I shop for music. My IPOD has been on a stale re-run lately and badly needed refreshment. I got a witchin' new one as a gift recently and obviously that meant retail therapy, in order to populate it. I watched an hour of this movie, Taare Zameen Par on my flight back home. I guess if I were not delirious from exhaustion, wild horses couldnt have kept me from finishing the movie.. However, I did buy the sound-track and may I say that the song "Jame Raho" has replaced the Suprabhatam in my house. I've listened to it four times today morning already.

So many new plans and paths and adventures coming up! I will be more regular in updating my blogs, thas for sureeeeee.......... now back to making dates with butterflies and living a little.

Humility

2008-08-24T10:21:00.000-07:00

I was thinking today about the year that has passed. I was thinking what a very long way I have come and what a very long way, I have yet to go!

The themes for this year are simplicity, humility, friendships and discipline. Lets see how many I am able to stick to, all year.

Optimism and top-soil

2008-08-11T16:41:00.000-07:00

Well, the Olympics is the apple of every sports-person's eye. Never mind that it is completely commercialized, totally lop-sided and would abuse any person's intelligence. Chris Rock (an American comic) has a great line about African-American people in sport.. that the only kind of sport they might do is something like running, or something which is free and can be done without exclusive memberships or expensive equipment. I feel exactly the same, being an Indian athlete. We do have all these compartments in our mind. Only those that have been in sport from age 3 can be athletes.. only those that play something like cricket will get their time of day in sponsorships, blah blah.. Thank goodness, I have some drastic friends who never say die and I refuse to fall for these compartments. How about our moms and daughters (when I should have such a privilege of being a mother)? How about our dads and our brothers and grand-parents? Do they not deserve a chance at health too? Sport can be every persons activity, if done for fun.. and sport should be every country's prerogative, if there are dedicated athletes wiling to go the distance in training.

I am so proud of our women athletes in Athletics, Badminton and Tennis. These kids are rock stars! All this latest rubbish about not wearing a saree to the Olympic opening ceremony is another example of idiotic press-coverage that again insults anyone's intelligence. Practice before looks, any athlete would choose the same way.

Talking about the Olympics once more, even though everything is lop-sided and our sports history is kind of nuts, I am still very thrilled to watch the news on this event. It does takes many years of hard-work, dedication and single-minded devotion to get anywhere close to the top of the game.. sure, its not all fair and people with more money and time ultimately seem to get "there" faster but, heck, Rome was not built in a day or something, right?

I am very optimistic today! Sometimes I get down and out thanks to several other people, some so weak that they dont take any accountability for any of their actions, thoughts or words but, optimism, like top-soil, in my mind is what you make of it. I hope we come out with flying colors in more than one event at the Games. I am so proud of our athletes for getting there and representing our country, with all its diversity and challenges. Hats off to them!

Lake Stevens 70.3

2008-07-07T15:35:00.000-07:00

I just raced yesterday in the state of Washington. This marks the beginning of my summer. After struggling with a bout of fever and some late nights (people dont seem to go to sleep early enough, in my opinion), I started this race for two reasons and two reasons alone:

(a) I wanted to see how I would go, given some poor training weeks leading upto the race. I have been in a mental downer because of a few things but, thats life for ya! Never perfect. I kept my training as consistent as I could because its no good to sleep on your dreams when the going gets tough.

(b) I think its important to excel at something only if you love it. In the past year, Ive seen how unhappy people get when doing difficult races and it never ceases to amaze me that they take it upon themselves to participate when it brings no joy to their lives. I thought, this race would be a great test of my attitude -- do I really love this sport and would I really have a great day despite health/training issues or would I make myself miserable?

I had a superb day. I just loved the race from the word "go!" I was focussed the whole time, very happy to be there and it was a perfect day for racing! The bike was through some hilly routes in the backroads and my creaky old bike made it up every hill with a smile on her face. I love biking and have a long way to go on this but, I am working hard and have no doubt that I will get so much better in the months to come. The run was the icing and was over too soon for my liking. I had a BLAST! I was happy and cheering on other competitors and smiling (something I never do, because I am usually running so hard :))

I had a fantastic day and my fitness is definitely coming along to have come through this well with the attitude of "go out there and see what you can do".

I am really hoping to put on a good show at the World Champs and I needed this race to kickstart my serious training phase.

Off to work and put in the miles.

Missions and Statements

2008-06-08T08:12:00.001-07:00

One of my three best friends died this week and while I am more familiar with recieving wedding invitations from my peer group, this news took my world by storm. I had just finished running in a very cold rain and so happy to have finished my workout because I have been struggling to stay positive for about a month now. I suppose, subliminally we do know that something is not right with our world when we struggle to keep doing what we love. The tears were not slow to come, this time. I bawled my heart out for two straight days but, you know, the thing about crying in the rain is that one cannot figure out whats streaming down your face.

This got me thinking about my life in general and I am not sure if it applies to anyone else but, overall, I think optimism is an art. My new mission in life is to perfect this art. I think we have several deaths to die if our attitude is bad. I knew this for a while but, I sort of lost that thought somewhere.. time to get it back here.

I think good things come in threes. It takes a bit of ground to disappear beneath your feet to realize what you have, what youve lost and most importantly be grateful for what you have started to take for granted and really cherish it instead. Its only June! I have some fabulous new plans for the rest of the year and now 200% inspiration to see them through.

Stay tuned.

Chinese Encounters

2008-04-23T17:22:00.000-07:00

This was by far,the most difficult race to have ever been held because of the weather conditions. The race started at 7am, when the temperatures were already at 25 degrees Celsius, with 94% relative humidity. The swim was in the South China Sea and we had favourable conditions including low-tide. The water was murky and the buoys to mark the course went down as the wind picked up so, we had no idea where we were going. We had two laps on the swim and I was simply following the people ahead of me. The first lap was all right but I was way left of where I should have been and swam a bit long. The second lap was a disaster. By this time the buoys had totally fallen down and I swam even longer. I exited the water in 94 minutes. My previous best swim was in 80 minutes but, I was not unhappy. The swim was not very well marked and there is no point in losing hope at the end of a swim in the Ironman.

The bike course was very scenic and went through a lot of rice fields. The temperature was climbing steadily as was the wind. I was very happy to be cycling and biked hard to make up for lost time on the swim. I felt like I was in India, in Chennai actually because of the heat and humidity. The temperatures rose from 30deg to 34deg steadily during the bike ride. I was burning and my left foot, in my pedals was heating up and felt as if I was sticking it into a fire, straight. The course wound through some Chinese villages and all the children there were cheering for us. It was so amazing! Everytime I saw these kids, I would pick up and go faster. The crowd support was amazing. I finished my bike ride in 6 hours 41 minutes. Including 10 minutes of transitions (transitions are where you put on your bike clothes after the swim and put on your run clothes after the bike) I was out on the run. My previous best bike was 7:12 and I improved by more than half an hour on the bike.

Onto the run, I was pretty dehydrated and almost delirious. The temperature was now a steady 35 degrees and I had to pour ice on my head all the way. From the very first kilometer on the run, I suffered. It was not very different from running through a sauna, after having biked for 6:41 in a sauna. People were starting to walk because it was so difficult to run. I told myself that while I may not run fast, I would keep running slowly to get to the finish line. I ran down 25 women and more than 130 men but I had a very hard time on the run. I threw up twice because I could not keep down any food. It was pretty horrific weather. I could only take my sun glasses off at 6:15pm. They had been on my face for nearly 10 hours. My skin is burnt to a very dark red and I broke both my toenails again but, the finish was sweet. I was 4th in my age-group. 29th overall including the professionals. I was 19th on the run including the pros, on a day when I really had a difficult run.

I finished 35 minutes behind the last professional athlete, outran one professional woman and man, and I am very thrilled have this race result.

Countdown to China

2008-04-19T03:10:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well. Its the day before the race here in Haikou, China. I am pretty thrilled to be here and pre-race nervousness is usual. I have been ruminating on the goings on in my life and my path here. For the firs two to two and a half years, I did all my training from India. I participated in two races every year, one half-ironman and one ironman. There were several reasons I did this. One was of course, financial constraints. I work very hard and no one gets anything for free. Second was of course, preparing the mind to do the incredible work one has got to do in sport. When we look at our runners, I dont think we pay them enough respect. I remember standing around at the Mumbai marathon post-race and listening to a tonne of people speculate if Abhishek Bacchan was going to be there, whether Rahul Bose was going to hand out awards etc. I think these two men are very good looking and worth the speculation however, I dont think too many people in that crowd knew the run course record or the Indian runners who had posted some amazing times there, for the conditions they train in.

I understand their training. I understand what it means to wake up at 3am to get in a bike ride. I understand what it means to be a woman in India, trying to accomplish something this difficult. I am very happy to have these amazing marathoners to look upto, they are one of my several sources of inspiration.

After consistently placing with the top amateurs at run races, I decided that this was the year to step up and train and race more consistently. My season of races in Nov was very successful. I came home and trained a bit after that. My races from Feb-March were also successful. After a very brief training camp Im attempting my second Ironman in less than 6 weeks.

Im PSYCHED. I love the challenge of this distance. I am still learning and I have a very long way to go but, I have worked hard in the last few months and I will give it my best on race-day. The first and foremost challenge in an Ironman is finishing. No one can take that for granted! I am a perfectionist and so, I always worry about if I couldve done more, trained more, etc. etc. But, I constantly remind myself that I have two jobs to do and come race day, the past and the future dont really matter.

I hope my hard-work and self-belief pays off tomorrow.

BRING IT!!

Grease bhari Aankh

2008-04-08T17:16:00.000-07:00

I remember watching a movie when I was younger called "Khoon Bhari Maang" , with Rekha and Kabir Bedi... Everytime I am super-relaxed and happy with my life, my clients (very rare happening) and optimistic in general, I have some super-funny thoughts. They are funny to me, anyway. I think blogs and facebook and other such nonsense are a one-way PA system. Everyone gets to read it and has to digest it :) So, here goes:

I was thinking that Indian triathletes should make a movie called "Grease bhari Aankh". I think this would star the bureaucrats, the babes from Bollywood and the bikers. Music HAS to be composed by A R Tere-Naam, direction by Money Rathnam and lead heroine would be yours truly. It would be a story about poise, international intrigue and the boring day-to-day chore of making the most of our time.

Many people have written me in the recent months and asked me to inspire them. First of all, thanks for your emails! I really do feel very happy to be inspiring even one person in my life however, I just want to share my thoughts on inspiration and what it really is all about.

I say that I dont have heroes because of their mortality. People are people, you know? We all have highs, lows, challenges, insecurities, disappointments, euphoria etc. etc. to deal with. Some people just deal with them in a way that makes us think "thats cool! Id like to be like that!" and that is what inspiration is. Its not the people per se but their choices or actions. However, the bottom-line is that inspiration comes from within us. Not without us :)

This is a big big big thing to understand and its taken me two decades and then some! So, what I have to say is, to everyone who has been writing me and asking about sport and running and such things, just go out and DO IT!! Start small.. run 10 minutes, walk 20 minutes at first, 2-3 times a week. Then keep building. If you are tired, rest. When you feel good, go again! Thats it really.. there are no complicated secrets to sport. If you are attempting a long-distance event, remember that consistency and GRADUAL PROGRESSION are the keys. No one can build Rome overnight. Trust me, I have tried :) Using Lego blocks :)

So, to all my awesome buddies with Grease Bhari Aankhs, dont give up. Keep trying. If people are annoying, dont deal with them. MOVE ON. Focus on yourself.

I will put up a picture on my collection, which to me symbolizes the word ENDAVOUR. As long as you know that work ain't glamorous, you will be surprised how far you can go with a little honest effort. Keep on pluggin!

Twilight

2008-03-16T16:30:00.000-07:00

I was listening to one of my favourite artistes of late, Bic Runga.. this chick is AWESOME!! She has one song called Good Morning Baby! and it starts like this:

Between an overload of information
And a striving for a pure dedication I
Find myself looking for the exit sign

I was thinking, this was written for me!

I met some fantastic runners the other day and they were talking about this and that.. So, while us triathletes "try" to run and the runners really do run, there is a third classification, "the pretenders"... people like me, who will not back off when everything seems to go nowhere. I dont really know if tenacity is an endearing characteristic in human beings but, I've always been described as perseverant. Sometimes, that annoys me! Its totally irrational but, true.. Why can't I quit when my shoulders REALLY hurt on a swim? Whats so wrong about having a lot of friends, being popular and pleasing a majority of the population?

Triathlon is not a team sport. That is for sure.. Even historically, the real tough nuts went out on their own... and got good.. I think if you need to be told what to do, you are in trouble to begin with. Since people like complexity, and parts of the game are also to not get injured (as this is a high-volume sport) sure, having a good advisor can help.. but, inherently, this sport is for the lone wolves.

No chit chat. Just work and mortal combat with the clock, responsibilities and pain.

As long as its fun and Im getting better, Im in! 200% No other way to do it.

Fall and Rise?

2008-03-08T18:13:00.000-08:00

I had a blast at Ironman New Zealand. The weather was similar to the tempest, started off real calm and then followed the wind and rain. I was so engaged in my race that I barely noticed the weather! Only my blisters and clothes soaked in rain-water, remained to tell the story.

There was a big Indian flag at the event as I was the only Indian participant. I never really understood the high of representing one's country, until that point. It gave me goosebumps! I consider myself to be very detached from the politics of sport (trust me, there is a lot of it, read the papers everyday about how every federation actively stands in the way of the athletes, not behind them to back them up) but, it was still such an amazing feeling to have the Indian flag, up and proud, amongst a host of other flags. That made me all the more determined to give it my best effort, last Saturday.

I loved the swim. I have been working so hard on the swim and it certainly paid off. Onto the bike, the winds were lashing, head-on for two sections of the ride but, I dont like making excuses. I want to excel at all three sports, so, I am going to work even harder on my bike-riding skills this year. That is the promise I made myself on race-day. The run was amazing. I truly love running. It is the hardest part of an Ironman because it is the last leg. If you have any cracks in your training or mental attitude, it usually shows on this leg.. and it is often my strongest leg. I am very proud to say that I placed 5th out of the women in my age-group (I ran down eighteen women in my age-group and around thirty women overall, to get 30th place overall on the run and 89th overall on the race).

That ain't too bad for a girl, from India!

I cant WAIT for next year.

Thanks to all my friends for all your messages of encouragement. I really appreciate it, even though I have little skill in writing back!

I crashed my bike today and bruised myself very badly but, I am generally optimistic.. and falling is not too bad, once you are up on your feet again and moving on, as if nothing happened.

That is the whole secret to life, I think.

Pay Day

2008-01-30T14:45:00.001-08:00

I am about 4 weeks away from Ironman New Zealand and for once, realize the enormity of this year's effort. I slipped and fell pretty hard on my run last night and really hurt myself. Mostly, the ego was hurt however. I work hard on being positive everyday because I have several challenges to overcome, several stereotypes to get over and most of all, our society seems to breed fear.

I am sure a lot of people from Bangalore can relate to this. As children, there is always pressure to study, go to violin class, dance class, music class etc. etc. I am lucky to have supportive parents who never put any pressure on me, but, I do know this to be true of several of my cousins and class-mates, in Bangalore, in Madras, everywhere else.

The outcome of this sort of pressure or pressured environment was two-fold. Since my parents never pressurized me, I was hell-bent on doing as much as I could. Biking to school (which, given that I was very chubby, was very difficult :)) computer classes, acing the English and Computer Science tests (my old teacher in class 10 was the BEST and I LOVED BASIC), getting good enough grades to make the best Engineering Schools and so on. The flip side was that all of us, except the glamorous basketball players in school, were pretty one-dimensional. We knew our Newton's Laws, the fifth paragraph of Julius Caesar's Act II, Scene I and what day Mohammed Bin Tughluq ascended the throne, but, that was it. Health was not a premium. We did really well academically and since society has these rungs of study, work, own-a-house, be-secure, that part is OK.

The second love of my life is sport and as with all second loves, it is a much harder road to travel. An English major trying to master Discrete Mathematics will always be someone I respect way more than an English major getting a PhD in English. This is how my quest with sport is.

When I started down this road, I knew how esoteric this was. I knew all the swim meet records, the run records, the cycle records. I knew the depth of the field. I walked into this, eyes wide open.

After the fall yesterday and a really painful walk back home, I felt pretty low. What was the point? The world championships seem further and further away, every year. Everything is extremely unaffordable, bike-shorts most importantly. Although I know I am not trying to prove a point here, the day-to-day realities do gnaw at my heart. My backyard, my country, is very unsuited for this sport.. and to be entirely honest, my home is back in India and that is where my heart is. Past all the challenges.

I was in so much pain that I was sure I had broken something and thought that this was the end of my sporting go :) This tends to happen when one is really low on morale.. but, something else came up, which made me see things for what they are. ALT wrote an awesome poem called Ulysses, which best articulates my thoughts, since I am no good at poetry :)

For always roaming with a hungry heart
Much have I seen and known;

Even if sport is done as chapter 2, I will probably pick up playing the violin again and try to be the next grandmaster.

My legs are fine today! But, I needed the 30 minutes of painful hobble to understand where I started and peer into where I am trying to go. 4 Weeks to pay day and no grumbling from me...

Staying calm and positive

2007-11-07T13:07:00.000-08:00

"Stay calm and positive" is a phrase I often repeat to myself. This phrase could mean a lot of different things, in a lot of different circumstances. Say in a training week, I am sore as hell, dont really want to be doing a workout etc., this reminds me to keep moving forward. In other circumstances, involving people that are annoying, either intentionally or un-intentionally, this keeps me focussed on the task at hand and my own personal code of conduct.

As adults, I think we struggle with a few basic day-to-day challenges. It seems like many people, as they get to work, have familial or other responsibilities, start to take out a lot of their personal stress on others -- co-workers, friends, neighbors. I have dealt with a lot of people like this, who are stressed out and get moody with me as a consequence, or dont pay their bills on time, or who will say hurtful things without realizing the implication of them. I am like that too sometimes, I am sure. There are choices to be made with every action and reaction and I choose, conciously, to not be a jerk, 99% of the time. Do I succeed? I dont know, ask my buddies... but, tolerance is NOT a youthful virtue. I used to be a lot less patient and accepting.

As a grown-up though, staying calm and positive is not a multiple-choice answer, it keeps me happy and centered. If someone is jerking me around, specially, I dont take that as a cue to let down my own personal beliefs. That should get me through this November as a thought for the day! :)

Guide

2007-10-07T18:18:00.000-07:00

Is an old Hindi movie, whose songs are absolutely awesome. The mood for October is all in this song..

Aaj phir jeene ki tamanna hai….

Ho, khaanto se kheench ke yeh aanchal
Tod ke bandhan baandhi payal
O koi na roko dil ki udaan ko
Dil woh chala ha a aa aa aa aa.

Apne hi bas mein nahin main
Dil hain kahin to hoon kahin main, ho

Jaane kya paa ke meri zindagi ne
Has kar kahaan ha ha haa aa aa aa

Aaj phir jeene ki tamanna hai
Aaj phir marne ka iraada hai

Main hoon ghubaar yaa toofaan hoon
Koi bataaye main kahaan hoon, ho

Dar hain safar mein kahin kho na jaaoon main
Rasta nayan ha a aa aa aa aa

Aaj phir jeene ki tamanna hai
Aaj phir marne ka iraada hai

Kal ke andheron se nikal ke
Dekha hain aankhen malte malte, ho
Phool hi phool zindagi bahaar hai
Tay kar liya ha a aa aa aa aa

Aaj phir jeene ki tamanna hai
Aaj phir marne ka iraada hai

Sweet September

2007-09-08T03:39:00.000-07:00

I definitely know that this is the season of moss green optimism, as evidenced by a new bike (on a great deal), the trees within talking distance of each other (and me) and definitely, high-def return to the lost resolve. I was sick a lot in the month leading upto September.. I am not sure if it was the added stress of a breakdown in personal fortitude (we all know how trying to work out in Bangalore can get) or just plain bronchitis/food-poisoning/delirium-thereof!

Now, most excuses to not train have been taken away, rather deliberately. I was listening to the top folks in this sport talking about their game-plans. I think I am done listening and ready to get going!! The start is always slow but, once I catch some fire, the going is steady, better, best.

My ambitions still stay on keel, added one or two to the "must-have" list... Just finished reading "The inheritance of loss", sort of an anti-climatic page-turner. I do realize my legacy when I read books like this... Indians straddle so many worlds seldom realizing that the world is within us. Its not just "Indians" or "Africans" or "your-favourite-country", its more of how we navigate what we can make for ourselves. Point of the ramble being, as some wise-man said, the lows are never so low.. so, here is looking forward to a Sweet September!

KungFu Hustle

2007-08-07T02:54:00.001-07:00

It is not newsworthy that I am an Ironman athlete, there are plenty of those around the world. What is news worthy is that I trained in India for my first two events and my results have been improving steadily. I believe that with a bit of support and a lot of hard work, there is no limit to what I can achieve in the years to come. I don't believe in stereotypes and I don't subscribe to letting where I am from, limit what I can do. It is now time to step out, tell the world my story and try to see how far I can go.. Im excited about this incredible lightness of being.. My friend quoted from 13 conversations about one thing, something to do with bidding adieu to consternation. Onward I go with a little less baggage and no longer hiding from my passion for sport.